A post submitted by CGI member Morgan.

****************************************

I was shown I begged for this life, despite warnings I'd regret it. I saw my own personal Akashic Records. Past lives, the fact I planned this one with events to turn me into the Arsehole (to the 33rd Degree) that I am today, and have been for a number of years. Yes, it's been a roller coaster, but looking back; it coulda been a lot worse. Been semi-retired since 48 working only part time jobs as opposed to averaging 55 hours a week for so many years, and now I've got tons of discretionary time. No, life isn't the party it used to be, but I'm not interested anymore. Now I can mostly do what I want, which is sit in front of the computer all day or read a book, with part-time job and a few errands and chores to get in the way. Our Dollar Tree gets some wonderful books. So, I can get a few hundred bucks worth of books full retail for 15 bucks. Nice. My library is huge now. I work only as hard as I absolutely have to, we're comfy, and costing the state (Which I can't stand, politically.) way more than we give it, thanks to their stupid laws.

I planned my life. I assume so did all else. It's what the mystics say, and if this be the case; I'd say the human race is about as masochistic as it gets. OH, I WANNA BE A SOUTH AFRICAN HONKY-GRINGO-CRACKER FARMER, AND I WANNA BE TORTURED TO DEATH, or I wanna be born in Gaza to get the bejeezus bombed outta me, or i wanna die on the streets of an overdose, or I wanna be thrown int a volcano, or. . .

Ye gods, what's the point of that? Yet you see it again, and again, and again.

Why have I been here so many times? Why was I such an idiot? Why did it take so many lives to say NEVER AGAIN!?

GODS, I HATE THIS PLACE! I guess I'm here now to see it go tits up, and I admit I'm enjoying it. Living for the next world and knowing what we really are and not living for this one has its advantages.

Neener-neener!