You’ve entered a new time zone. Things might not be what you’re used to (ok...things are definitely NOT what you’re used to).

You will find many interesting things to do here, and you will experience many interesting things DONE TO YOU (did you notice the DISCLAIMER NOTICE before you decided to ‘vacation’ here? If not, it’s too late, but it did say, “I PROMISE NOT TO SUE ANYONE WHEN I GET BACK.”

How’s that new body working for you. Hopefully you got a good one, if not, well...you get THAT experience. If you arrived in a country that the U.S. is currently bombing (and if not, give them time) you may experience severe hardships if you survive, but hey...you were warned.

Most of the bodies you enter are only at war with themselves, but they eventually settle down after having a few chitty experiences. Anyway, because your memory was erased (so you could really ENJOY this experience without all the chatter from your previous incarnations on whatever world) you really don’t know how good or bad you have it unless you go on the internet from North Korea and realize there are people enjoying really weird experiences besides being imprisoned. That’s not to say that the folks in North Korea don’t enjoy themselves, after all, they probably too have weird families with wacko uncles and mother-in-law visits. They just don’t get to enjoy Leave It to Beaver and American Idol. Better they stay off the internet. They’ll be happier being less informed.

On earth you wake up each morning with things you have to do, and sometimes you have to do them several times a day, and if you’re old, you need to know the locations where to do them EVERYWHERE YOU GO.

A big part of your life will be sleeping, eating and arguing with people. And if you live in a 1st world country you will spend most of your time working at jobs you hate, but the plumbing will be good. If you were lucky enough to be born into a 3d world country you’ll be enjoying a village family life and won’t have to get a motor home to visit your family, but you might have to watch out for people trying to kill you with a machete or steal your goat.

Life on earth is the ultimate pain and pleasure experience. That’s why we call it DEATH WORLD, because you have to experience dying to escape. There’s nowhere else in the universe quite like earth life, which is a good thing in many “I will kill you in this very alley if you don’t give me your money” kind of ways.

Some of you will live in cardboard boxes, also called stick-frame houses. They’re not designed to last too long, just like your vehicles and everything else because the ECONOMY will be everything. Very few countries make things to last, unlike probably the world you came from where money wasn’t even known. And speaking of money, it’s very important on earth. You can’t do much without it, and your leaders know that, so they’ll keep you slaving for it, but as a result you’ll have one hell of a ride.

Earth is also called the anti-boredom world. It’s like paying to go to a theme park where there always something to do, something to learn, someone to torture you, and someone for you to torture, even if it’s in a kinda grumbley, smiley way.

There are beings from some worlds that pay BIG money to come here so they can climb mountains and fall off, go into deep jungles and sweat and get eaten by chimps (I think it’s chimps...maybe its anacondas or alligators or crocodiles...well...whatever, something is going to eat them, even if it’s just micro-disease-bugs that plague them).

Some people weave baskets, build boats, bake bread, kick dogs and BBQ what other nations consider pets. Each to their own.

Just a final note from the pamphlet you got (you did get one I hope) that explained earth-life: After something kills you so you can have an out-of-body experience (and something WILL kill you, ‘cause that’s the ONLY way off earth) you will spend sometime in a low-astral-psycho-ward until you’re back to your normal smiley self.
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