Dear Jana,
...after reading this extraordinary piece last night, I dreamt that you were carrying us across the raging river of Ignorance on your back before the current of the waterfall smashed us over the cosmic edge to the rocks below.
Our understanding is flowering now, beginning to recognize its true Self amidst the Programming that has so devastated our cultural evolution and our selves. The problem is that the 'ladder' seems to narrow considerably as we near the opening. Is it because the opening itself is narrow, thus allowing few to escape, or is it because the opening will always be as large or as small as is needed to let those through who desire it?
As we begin to recognize the 'difference' we wonder sadly at our aloneness. And as we cease the debate with the 'crabpot guards', we recognize that we are merely turning the 'flashlight' of our Internal Selfhood towards the Opening instead of using it to debate the merits of their Ignorance. "To be or not to be" is no longer the question...Rather it is the pointer to the real question which is fondly rhetorical: Do I KNOW my connection to my OWN Nature, or do I Leave my Beingness (be-leave) by embracing Ignorance and Be-leave in what THEY tell me?
We too wonder what mankind 'might have been' had not the poison turned us topsy turvy and sent us to live in the end of our sentences. But in the wondering comes an answer that seems to field its own brand of experience: If this 'tragedy to our spiritual essence' had not occurred, then perhaps we would not have this opportunity to bring consciousness to this 'early' boil and rise out of the whole mess on the steam of Spirit? Not that it changes anything...just that it gives rise to another rung on the ladder out: "Fine! You did this to US. We HAVE RISEN above it. (Get it?: WE HAVE RISEN!!!!) Now get out of our way, you Assholes! YOU are the Devil Spawn! And I care not whether you are called, Jew or Catholic or Protestant or Annunaki or Ignorant or Crabpot Guard, CIA, FBI, Federal Anything or Doctor Whore or even Don Juan Mateus' Flyers...if you dare to think you can split the 'I AM' in two and interject your own 'laws' in the crack you create, you are wrong. For it ultimately comes down to 'LAW'. The fully realized Mind does not need a Lawyer to interpret what it KNOWS. Natural Law drips from his Essence like dew on the flower. Only the Ignorant, lost in the crack require attorneys to interpret what they BELIEVE...precisely because they have LEFT Being.
Though I seem to have been 'raised' on the 'other side' of the crevass from you, it is as though we meet in mid air, having each made our way across the minefield of artificial consciounsess. I recognize you hovering in the perfect moment point and I am grateful for your light.
[It is interesting how the Energy Whores are attempting to keep me from this writing. As Mind begins to fly in the outer frequencies that have hereto been forbidden to us, I am bombarded by all manner of EM problems. Screen suddenly blanks out...cursor freezes...whole pages of writing suddenly disappear from the screen. I recognize fully that these are not things that are occurring at the programming level, but in the time and space surrounding me.]
We have for too long been governed by 'What Others Will Think of Us'. Indeed, the ENTIRE Ego self is made up of 'what will 'THEY' think?' AND 'Don't Embarrass your Mother!' We have been taught that we must let others define what the acceptable norm is; that we cannot rely upon ourselves or our take on reality. It is there that THEY have divided us from our Nature and forced us into the yoke of 'their bidding'. THEY have programmed us with their Man-God. And then shamed us into believing that our Natural connection to our Spiritual godhood was the devil. Believe what we tell you, they screamed. Do not KNOW your own connection to god; indeed, you MUST have the priest intercede for you. 'If we do not tell you who you are, then you do not exist! And we will prove it by creating a social structure (a container) in which the only way you can exist is by OUR definition of who you are.'
'You are the horse,' they say, 'We will break you from doing your own thinking; then we will brand you with a Social Security Number. And claim you and your product as our own.'
No thank you, I say, politely declining their offer.
'You can't do that!' THEY say, flashing their torch of fear. 'We will kill you if you try...at the very least, we will incarcerate you. We can't have people thinking for themselves, after all. They might figure out that this is all an illusion! And then they'd leave us...and we don't know how to get out. We aren't like you...'
Hmmm, why is that, I wonder? Why are there those who do not see the way out and try so hard to keep the rest of us from going? Do you have an answer?
It is interesting that 'hidden' within the old Latin Mass were 'doorways' into the Truth. That is why they had to eliminate it and make it grey protestant. One of the biggest 'doorways' was in the 'fast' that one had to perform before receiving Holy Communion. Indeed, it was my own personal doorway OUT. Fasting causes a 'shift in the Assemblage Point'. In the process of Fasting comes a re-connection with body and thus, the true Spiritual Nature. Feeling overtakes Language, especially when one focuses on the idea that one is doing it in order to be 'pure' enough to receive 'god' into one's body. I was about 12 years old when my true 'baptism' occurred...true recognition of internal godhood. Twelve would be, of course, right about the time that the Corpus Calosum finishes its development connecting the 'wiring' between the left/right brains and allowing for our perfect Resonance to 'come alive'. (How many others have had similar experiences?)
It was 10:30 a.m. on Sunday morning. I had not eaten nor drunk anything at all since 6:00 p.m. the night before. I was fully in an altered state both from the fast as well as the focus on 'spiritual essence without language'. As the 'host' wafer hit the pit of my stomach, a sense of perfect being suddenly surrounded me. If this is what my religion was about, I was IN! But of course, it was not. What I was experiencing was NOT religion in any form, but pure KNOWING, connection to the physical planet through the body self. I was touching the GodSource through the perfect resonant cavity! I was vibrating right out of the socket into which THEY had 'screwed' me with their debasing programming.
In some manner I never went back. And indeed, have lived life on the edge of uncomfortableness ever since. Supreme Uncomfortableness!!! What if they find out that 'I KNOW' about their lie? Oh, dear, I must hide my Self away... I must pretend to look like 'them' so that no one will notice. Behind the facade of social acceptability Mind was very busy. It grew and grew and grew! Now, the crabpot can no longer contain it.
And now it sees that it wasn't alone in its growing...and yet very alone...oh, the dichotomy of the dual universe! Ahhh, but even as I write those words I hear it say, "Yes, and you are but the test tube in which the genes of the tiger and the genes of the horse have been mixed to provide a new kind of being. You are the embodiment of the alchemical reaction, the homogenization, the balancing of the new creative platform from which life will take its due. The launch point. And you are not alone, however it may feel so. Do not be afraid of your Nature: It is the perfect vehicle to take you where you are going. Relax into it, remove the seatbelt of Social programming so you can float free on this extraordinary trip and you will find your own encapsulated 'spaceship' right here!
There is no way any longer to describe to others this new color that paints the sky of Mind. Either one CHOOSES to experience it, or they do not. It is intensely personal in the realm of the 'I AM'. The Rosicrucian-Cosmo Connection referred to it as a kind of 'gray-peach'. I just call it the 'color OUT'.
...just "walkin' another Earth; breathing another air" and hoping you all are too!
Esclarmonde
