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Parody - Human Being Meets Enlil

H: So we finally meet. I've been looking forward to this for some time.

E: Make this quick. I have a ten o'clock with Jared Kushner.

H: I just need to verify a few things. So I'll get right to it. You are the wrathful and jealous god of the genesis story, no?

E: Yes. It is written, thou shalt have no other gods before me.

H: Who says I need a god?

E: It is I, your lord and master.

H: A little stuck on yourself, aren't we?

E: I am all that is, all that was, and all that will be.

H: So say you. You are sounding much like a cheap politician.

E: I should know. Political games are my right hand and my religions are my left hand. What do you want?

H: What's your gig? Why do you have to be that guy?

E: Gig? My gig? Impudent little Human. I am the great Enlil. Ye shall know my wrath!

H: Shall know? Seriously? You need to know something, Ozzy. I already have a long experience with your will, and let me tell you here and now - your will sucks. You know, that giant sucking sound that parasites make? Charlie Brown's mom syndrome. But can you answer the question?

E: Which question?

H: As I said. What is your problem?

E: My problem is your problem.

H: Only because you are an invader; a conniver who made your problem my problem. Do you really think I would choose such a farce to exist within? Thanks for nothing, dude. Withs gods like you, who needs enemies?

E: I am the Enlil! I can destroy you!

H: I fear not. I get that you need to control and destroy. That is exactly my point. Destruction is all you do. Do you get what a dumb-ass move that is in the long run?

E: I have served me well. My chosen ones are kings of the earth. I reward them with great riches and power. How could you be so foolish as to dispute that?

H: Don't toy with me. You are NOT Prime Creator. It is painfully obvious you serve yourself. You must be aware that your chosen ones are despised among Humanity.

E: It is because Humans are jealous of my princes. The jealous ones would do my bidding if the rewards were big enough. There is but a small distance between despised and respected.

H: Only from your point of view, and one can only reason from their point of view. Truly, it is only fear you speak of. Fear of the great mystery of unknown force. Once the shroud of mystery is removed, most Humans will reject your charade outright.

E: Oh, but you dream little Human. Seeking me is built into your DNA. That you can be assured of. My brother Enki made sure of that. You were a slave then, you are a slave now, and forever you will remain a slave.

H: I do not agree, and hereby withdraw my consent. My will is to contest assumptions of the wicked despot. Write that down in your book of futures.

E: I will destroy you!

H: I think not. You need me too much. Without me, you have no power. It is not I who remains the dead soul. I possess that which you are longing for, but will never have. I am Prime Creator, and I am Source. You are not. You are separated from Me, by your own choice. You have always been belligerent. Younger were you then, and your father Anu wisely instructed you not to go toward the outer reaches where the hounds of the abyss do dwell. Neither did you pay heed to your fathers wise words. From your own impudence, your legacy remains only lord of the air among the children of Earth. Look at the example of your brother Enki. At least Enki knows compassion. You know only destruction. It is not your place to express your great despair against the children of Earth. Yet another 3600 Earth year cycle is nearly complete. Shall you say "I am the lord thy god" to your own father Anu again?

E: This conversation is over. I am late for my meeting with Kushner. We shall not meet again. One of us will end.

H: We can agree on that.

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