A little bit of Humor-Satire from CGI member MAXtheMAGAnificent.

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INTERSTELLAR MEMORANDUM

TO: Mglibsmuuurtyoxxi Acsolummbpnixi, Director
Interstellar Civilization Research Institute of the Sagittarius Star Cluster

FROM: Smaximasuuuix Oglimmmnnnotrxio, Captain
Interstellar Civilization Research Craft X19

StarDate: January 20, 853298473208476026209875897

SUBJECT: Observations of Civilization Inhabiting Third Orbiting Planet of Star 892734509874528097 Located in the Outer Arms of Galaxy 938408240982098204982380952085208

Dear Mglibsmuuurtyoxxi:

You sent me and my crew 10,000 light years from the Cluster to observe this nothing of a planet with its absolutely insane primitive inhabitants!?!?! Are you kidding me? Don't you guys at the Institute have anything better to do with your STAR$2983475902874528745280937509287520987290 interstellar research budget???

I told Commander Noooomasmixmasterrrr at StarFleet that going out to study this loser planet was a total waste of our time, but no, you jerks at the Institute insisted that these primitives could teach us something, GGGGGOOOOODDDD knows what. Alright, so here is our report (it's short):

The biggest joke is that their calendar is at year 2026 when we passed by or precisely 8532984732084760262098738771 years less than the start of our calendar. The amazing thing is that they should be single cell organisms at this point in their evolution but they're pretty complex humanoid multi-cells...although they do exhibit the intellect of single cell organisms.

You wanted to know what they do to amuse themselves...like what kind of games do they play. You are not going to believe this but anyway they have two major games, one called football and one called baseball. They are pretty simple. In football the players dress up in these silly outfits that make everyone look bigger than they actually are and then they run around and try to grab each others' legs so that they fall down. Maybe it is some kind of primitive exercise routine. The other sport, baseball, is just the opposite. The players dress up in silly street clothes and then just go out into a field and stand around for about three hours. Occasionally someone throws a small ball-like object to someone else. Looks like the opposite of an exercise routine. These humanoids are really weird!

When they are not playing these games, the humanoids basically spend their time annoying each other, and when they get totally annoyed, they tend to go to war with each other. They spend most of their productive time getting ready for these wars and making primitive weapons. What an absolute bunch of jerks. I hope that our civilization wasn't as messed up as this one is when we were just evolving.

Listen, like I said back at StarFleet, we have absolutely nothing to learn from this mission and I want to get back home before my kids turn 9283459745000 so I'm going to sign off now and get this bad boy on the road...maybe we can pick up a worm hole along the way.