The Theater of the Absurd, a Comedy of Horrors – Israel and Palestinians Finally Reach Agreement That Benefits Both Sides!! (parody)
In the insanity of wars and the mindless deaths that take place on both sides, it is refreshing to know that sometime miracles can happen where both sides can reach an agreement that they both can agree on and benefit. On Friday the 13th this month, an official from the IOF made a call to Palestinian news reporter and asked them to connect him with a Palestinian father that had many children. Within 1 hour a family man from the Gaza strip called the Israeli official back, which started an historical process never before attempted.

The phone call was not recorded but this rough transcript was made by the reporter present for the phone call conference:

IOF: “Listen my Palestinian friend, both sides have suffered for too long in this generational war!”
Pal: “I agree with you, there’s too much hatred, too much religion and too many bullets…what do you propose?”
IOL: “I’ve got a deal for you my friend, where you can get mileage out of the dead children in the news media, and we can also benefit from much needed target practice for our new LGTBQ recruits. We have come up with a very generous offer to pay you $2 for every child you bring us to shot for target practice, no questions asked. And we feel it is only right to let you take the child back and parade it down your streets to gain more sympathy from the world for your cause. But wait there’s more! We will also offer you this one-time deal that if you want a child shot in an arm or leg, or one arm and one leg, or two arms and two legs, etc, we will gladly do this for you if you provide the cost of the bullets for each limb shot. And, you get to take back the child injured and parade it into hospitals and have numerous photo opportunities as well. Of course, we can’t guaranty that the child will survive, you naturally take all risks in that option. How many children do you have my friend?

Pal: Nine. But..

IOF: Nine! I am sure you can pick out a few that you don’t need, am I right ..yes, right, No? Look at it this way my friend, in these troubled times and difficulty feeding a family and having wives bothering you all the time, getting rid of a few children is doing you a favor. Am I right? No? Not only that but look at this way my friend, the world is over populated, and I’m sure you want more sex and sex brings more children - so if you lose a few children this gives you the opportunity to have more sex and more children. It’s a win-win for everyone my friend, right? No? Yes?
But wait there’s more! We also have come up with a plan to help get more burnings on the news and we have a new deal to provide tires and scrap wood and gas to burn huge piles to make it look like a dangerous situation is going on. And, we can burn any of the children’s bodies at no extra charge! We have decided to make this a on-time offer of providing you with all required fuel for the fires as long as you provide the children’s bodies.
Otherwise, if you want to be seen dancing around a fire, that will cost $1 for each terrorist, I mean Palestinian. And these will be frame able, 8” by 11” glossy photos that you can enjoy hanging on your wall for years to come. Am I right? Yes! No? You need a deal like this my friend, No? Yes? Oh Vey!

(The Palestinian father is in tears, he hasn’t been able to respond because of his emotions. Finally, the reporter speaks up. “Hold on a minute sir, the father is emotional, and in tears and can’t talk at the moment, wait a second he wants to say something to me so I can say it to you. He is almost begging. Yes…ok. Hold on, here is his response;
“He says my IOF friend from Israel, Allah be praised for such compassion, such justice and fair play, finally someone comes up with a plan that will work for both of us. My dear friend, he only asks that he be allowed to make a package deal with you and throw in several wives, older terrorists, I mean the elderly wanting to die and I will also recruit more fathers for this peace plan of the century.
He has one final question; Do you take crypto currency or goat manure for payment?”

So ends the very first contact between the two opposing factions fighting in the middle east, so both sides can keep killing each other but increase their approval ratings on television. George Eaton