By Mateo Sol

Mirror work is strangely confronting, undeniably intimidating, a little embarrassing … but also profoundly healing.

Of all the inner work practices available to us in the 21st century, mirror work is one of the simplest and most powerful. You don’t have to go out and splurge money on loads of spiritual or self-help paraphernalia (thank god) – all you need to do mirror work is a mirror – that’s it! And nearly all of us already have access to one.

If you’re looking for a new psychological or spiritual tool to add to your repertoire, look no further than your bathroom mirror.

What is Mirror Work?

Mirror Work was a method originally developed by inspirational teacher Louise Hay as a way of getting in touch with the inner self. The primary purpose of mirror work is to develop self-love, self-care, and a more meaningful relationship with others. By simply looking into the mirror for a certain amount of time each day and gently talking to yourself, you can foster a more compassionate and forgiving connection with yourself.
I Feel Uneasy Sitting in Front of the Mirror – Why?

I have a challenge for you:

Go sit or stand in front of the mirror in your house for five minutes. Simply stare at yourself and hold eye contact. That’s all you have to do.

Now tell me how you feel.

If you’re like most people, you will feel uncomfortable. You may feel awkward, unsettled, embarrassed, emotional, or other feelings like self-loathing and criticism arise.

Why does this happen?

As Louise Hay writes in her book Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life:

The mirror reflects back to you the feelings you have about yourself. It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing. It clearly shows you what thoughts you will need to change if you want to have a joyous, fulfilling life.

In other words, in front of the mirror, there is no hiding. In front of the mirror, we catch an intimate (and sometimes painful) glimpse into the relationship we have with ourselves.

Mirror work can make us feel initially uneasy because it exposes our inner critic in plain daylight. Suddenly everything we feel about ourselves that we might not be aware of comes to the surface. And if you haven’t developed a compassionate relationship with yourself, you might be prone to believing all the nastiness whispered by your inner critic.
Mirror Work and Reconnecting with the Inner Child

Another reason why mirror work can make us uncomfortable is that it exposes vulnerable parts of our inner selves. Most notably, mirror work can bring us face to face with the child within us.

We all possess an inner child – it is one of the many archetypes (or forms of energy) that compose our personality structures.

When looking into the mirror, it’s not unusual to feel waves of sadness wash over you. I know that when I’ve experienced this despondency, it has been from my inner child pleading for my attention.

But although looking into the mirror can be upsetting at times, these feelings point to deeper work that is happening. Simply gazing at yourself in the mirror and comforting your inner child can be a tremendously healing practice. The more emotional you feel, the more emotional purging and transformation are happening.

Mirror Work as a Portal Into Your Soul

The eyes are the mirrors to the Soul as the old saying goes, and mirror work gives you direct access to that deeper part of you. But first, the inner work must happen.

Connecting with your Soul doesn’t always happen immediately during mirror work – although it can. Typically, you will need to work through your insecurities and self-resentments by practicing self-love before you can feel and sense your deeper inner presence emerge.

But how do you know that you’re reconnecting with your Soul?

I can’t answer that question for everyone. But for me the presence of my Soul emerges when my face softens, my eyes become warmer and more compassionate, a slight smile enters my face, and a lighter form of energy fills my body. Feeling drawn inwards is also another sign.

As magical or mystical as it may sound, using mirror work as a portal to your Soul is actually quite natural. There is nothing phantasmagorical about it – it feels like returning home to the truest, most whole, and wisest part of yourself.
How to Practice Mirror Work (Step-By-Step Guide)

There are no official methods of doing mirror work – although you can try the 21-day practice developed by Louise Hay in her book.

Personally, I prefer to tailor mirror work to myself and my own needs. Here are some of the fundamental principles of mirror work that you might like to keep in mind if you want to create your own practice:

Use affirmations that feel authentic to you (I’ll explain this more below)

Dedicate at least five minutes every day

Do mirror work in private so that you aren’t disturbed (or feel the need to keep your guard up)

It’s okay to feel emotional – let yourself feel whatever comes up

Keep a journal where you record any notable experiences (I’ll explain this more below)

With that being said, here is a simple step-by-step guide to mirror work that you can use and adapt to your own needs:

1. Commit yourself

Mirror work creates the deepest changes when it is done consistently over a long period of time. I recommend dedicating a minimum of five minutes a day, with ten minutes or more being ideal.

2. Think about the best time of day

Mirror work is flexible and can work around your schedule. Most people like doing mirror work in the early morning and late at night before going to bed. You can also do mirror work during the day as you pass mirrors. If there are no mirrors in your workplace, you can always use the selfie option on your phone (where you turn the camera towards yourself). You can find a private spot (such as in a bathroom cubicle) to do this exercise while at work.

3. Choose or create your own affirmation

Why use affirmations, you might ponder? Affirmations counteract the negative self-talk that runs through our heads – they also help to reprogram our minds. When we use affirmations, we are affirming something that we like about ourselves or something positive we wish to give ourselves.

You may like to create your own affirmation spontaneously based on how you feel when you look in the mirror. For example, if you feel ugly in that moment of time, you can affirm to yourself, “I have a beautiful heart and soul” or whatever feels most authentic to you. If you feel uncomfortable in your own presence, you can affirm, “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable, I accept myself as I am.”

Alternatively, you can choose from a list of affirmations and experiment with using one affirmation each day (or one for a week). Here are some examples:

I’m learning to love you

I’m willing to take care of you

I love how thoughtful/caring/sincere/____ you are

I am worthy of love

I am enough

I am exactly who I need to be in this moment

It’s okay for me to feel scared

It’s okay for me to feel sad

It’s okay for me to feel awkward

I love how unique my body is

I am beautiful

I am whole

I lovingly embrace my fears

I am fierce and strong

I trust in my natural wisdom

I am open and receptive

I believe in myself

There are thousands of affirmations out there – so this is just a little “sampler.”

A note on affirmations: If you are creating your own affirmations, please ensure that you keep them phrased in a positive way. Many practitioners who work with affirmations (such as those who study NLP) assert that the unconscious mind does not understand negatives and will translate any negatively phrased affirmation in reverse. For example, instead of saying “I am not worthless” say, “I am worthy.” Or instead of saying, “I will not be mean to myself” say, “I treat myself with kindness.”

Also, the point of affirmations isn’t to sugarcoat how you feel. If you genuinely can’t say to yourself in the mirror “I love you” then don’t! The point isn’t to be disingenuous, the aim is to offer sincere love to yourself. If an affirmation such as “I love and accept you” feels too difficult, focus on a milder affirmation such as “I am learning to love and accept you” or “I want to love and accept you more.”