Paddy and his good buddy Lon were seated in a pew waiting for the confessional booth to clear. Lon was a kinda regular, but he seldom saw Paddy there at confession.

So, Paddy, you must have done a bad one, quipped Lon. Yep, Paddy said... tiz adultery...

Ohh, said Lon, and you not being married, means....Paddy placed his finger to his clinched lips, and Lon stopped speaking immediately.

Finally, Lon got his chance at the booth, and exited a few minutes later, and as Paddy entered the booth, Lon waited in the vestibule, full of curiosity.

Father, I have sinned, said Paddy... The priest said, continue, my son.

So Paddy related the story of how he and Lon were at the Pub, last night, enjoying a few brews. Continue, said the priest.

Well, we were sitting with a couple we knew from the church here, and later on, Lon had to leave early, so we three continued to quaff a few more. Shortly, the man passed out, and as it was fairly late, his wife and I managed to get him into the back seat of their car.

And, said the priest?

Well, he was stone cold out, said Paddy. And, as his wife did not drive, she asked if I could please drive her home. I agreed, so after she made sure he was sleeping comfortably, we left in my car. And, on the way, she was entirely and overly energetic with me, if you understand?

Yes, continue..said the priest..

Well, there's not a lot more to say, said Paddy, except that she was obviously sexually energized by the alcohol. We spent the next few hours in her bed, and I then left.

That is adultery, son, and is quite serious.. As the couple was from this parish, I must know their names.

I cannot divulge the names, father.

You must, said the priest...was it Mrs O'rourke?

I will not divulge the names, said Paddy

Son, this is SERIOUS, you must tell.. said the priest. Was it Mrs Burton, or Mrs O'Toole? Speak up son...

I will not divulge the names, repeated Paddy..

Then you leave me no choice but to excommunicate you from all sacraments for the next 30 days... Return to this booth then.

Paddy left the booth, and as he entered the vestibule, Lon his buddy was waiting...

Paddy, said Lon...how did it go? What is your penance?

Not too, bad overall, really. I got three new leads and 30 days without worries to investigate them...