First time in a long time I have been back at the computer for any length of time (and the time I can spend is limited, but improving).

Okay, folks - here is update: I had hoped to report back to you weeks ago with a positive update. I had fended off immediate doom (and my heartfelt thanks to those who helped!) and procured a part-time job that might have enabled me to slowly catch up and then hold my own. Alas, it was not to be. I tried so very, very hard, but the job was too physically demanding (I am partially disabled) and I could not keep it. And then it was just one more bit of bad news after another, financial and physical - even had my smart phone hacked and I cannot make calls with it. Too many to go into now.

Life became almost too much to bear and for the longest while I slowly spiraled downwards into a deep, dark, literally immobilizing, depression featuring insomnia, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, extreme lethargy and brain fog. Website neglected, newsletter suspended. For a long period I struggled with whether or not life itself were worth continuing. I just could not help it and had no one to turn to. I suppose you would have to be there to understand - I've been down before, but never anything like that/this.

I've always been a glass half full kind of guy, but my glass got down to the very last few drops. Almost no pride (false pride?) or self-esteem left. I swear folks, I must have been a mafioso in a previous life.

But the good news is that I ultimately decided that I DO want to go on, with both my life and my mission - and I believe I have found the way forward if I can just buy some time one final time. There are state and local agencies/entities that offer help I was unaware of. Food banks and even a tiny amount of SNAP ("food stamps") that will be adjusted upwards a bit after the loss of my job. I think I have a renter lined up and some ways to make money. And there's more I hope to tell you about later. But right now, today and in the coming few days, if I do not get some immediate help, I may be quite literally doomed, as will my two beloved hound dogs.

I am beyond broke, far behind on everything, Days or hours away from having my power turned off, maybe weeks away from being homeless and maybe having my car repossessed due to a small balance ($300 +/-) left over after what I thought was my final payment. The check I wrote the landlord last Friday for part of the rent that was due the 1st of this month may exceed my overdraft amount - I gotta get some money in my bank ASAP!

So PLEASE help me claw my way back. I have so much I want to share with you, including lessons I have learned about health and life. No matter how small, every penny is precious and larger amounts would be a Godsend. Hopefully, you will be able to click on the logo below to donate via PayPal. If not, my PayPal address is dquixote@gmail.com and if not PayPal, my mailing address is: Tony Isaacs, 267 County Road 2045, Klondike, Texas 75448.

Perhaps I should add that a big part of the reason I have to proceed a few hours at a time, a few days at a time right now is due one final cruel blow: a horrific staph infection that put me to bed for the better part of the last two weeks. Leg swollen to over twice normal size. Three doctor visits and emergency X-rays to make sure the infection had not gotten into the bone and, even more alarmingly, an ultrasound Venus Test to find if I had blood clots that could kill me in an instant).

Sheeesh- it's not as if I was not already fighting three life-threatening conditions! Thankfully, the tests came out OK, the staph wound/infection continues to heal and my leg is almost back to normal size, though still swollen. But the time I can spend on my feet and even at the computer is limited. But as I said, limited but improving.

One thing I am compelled to add is Thank God for Hobie! He is such a good, good, genuinely caring man. His messages of concern from himself and ones he has passed on from some of you have meant a lot to me. Played a key role I think in helping me turn away from the abyss I came to the edge of. Thanks also to Rayelan. I look forward to the day when I can repay them and all of you. God willing, that day will come!

Before I go clean and change my wound dressings (yuck!) and elevate my leg, one last thing: What do you think about a series of blogs titled "Lessons in Life and Health"? I really want to do that (and much more). But first, a few hours and days at a time. I hope to rejoin the group very soon.

With love,

Tony