Feminism Deprives Girls of Father's Love
By Henry Makow PhD
June 19, 2023
Revised from June 2005 & 2019

[snip]

Most girls receive too little love from their fathers, and grow up to be insecure, distrustful of men and frigid, says Victoria Secunda, author of Women and their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life (1992). The result is failed marriages, broken families and a vicious circle of father-lessness.

Secunda's conclusions are based on interviews with 150 daughters, 75 fathers, and dozens of authorities. Because she is not an academic, Ms. Secunda has written an honest and useful book. Because she is a feminist, it slipped through the feminist censors and was well received. This is ironic because feminism is largely responsible for the symptoms she describes.

FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS

Girls model their male romantic ideal on their relationship with their father, according to Secunda. One woman said: "When I grow up, will I ever find a man as sweet and good and kind as my daddy." (p.105)

Women's attachments are "mirror images" of how they related to their fathers. "They instinctively repeat what they experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing in the world. It's what they know. They are trying to have one more shot at childhood, one more chance to rewrite their emotional histories." (224)

A three-year-old girl wants to marry Daddy and have mother out of the way. A good father helps her to understand that he is spoken for and prepares her for another man. But if he leaves, her idealization of her father can be frozen in time. (197)

Girls must have their father's approval and love. This is like sun and water to a flower. One woman said: "Whenever I'd worry about ever getting a boyfriend, he'd laugh and say, 'Are you kidding? I'll have to beat them off with a stick. You'll see.' His whole approach was to make me feel good about myself.... I think if fathers do nothing else, that's a great thing." (221)

Another woman said: "It's my dad who made me believe in myself. I remember my mom once telling me, 'Don't act too smart; boys won't like you." To which my father responded, 'Hogwash! She'll get smarter boys." (225)

These women naturally feel positively about themselves and are able to find partners who mirror the devoted father of their childhood.