I know this Real Raw News report was previously posted on RMN. I provided just the relevant paragraphs to the thread that I started.
-NW

Lori Lightfoot Executed at GITMO
By Michael Baxter -
April 17, 2023

[snip]

“I did more for Chicago than any mayor before me,” said Lori Lightfoot, as an anonymous soldier put a noose around his neck and tightened the rope just enough so he could still speak. His hands were cuffed behind his back so he couldn’t claw at the staff like a frenzied badger.

“That statement is as absurd as trying to drink from a colander,” Vice Admiral Darse E. Crandall said.

Lightfoot was yapping about how Chicago, under his rule, had experienced unparalleled safety and prosperity due to his transformative policies, which, he said, saved millions of lives during times of Covid. He refuted that he was an authoritarian, a dictator, and said “Trump’s people” had sabotaged his election campaign—because they wanted Chicago reduced to ashes, which could not happen under his magnanimous rule.

“I see what’s really happened here,” Lightfoot said, glowering at the ensemble of military brass that had come to witness the execution. “I was doing too good a job, and you people knew, you knew that it was preordained that one day I would be President of the United States.”