A post submitted by CGI member MAXtheMAGAnificent.
CGI is RMN's reader's forum.
Satire - Humor
Headline in the Daily Mail (UK) Regarding “Entertainment” for WEF Participants:
Davos's seedy underbelly EXPOSED: How pointing at the ceiling in a bar is all it takes to order sex at annual summit for the super-rich - and business for the legal prostitutes is booming
> One escort said that girls were mainly students in their 20s paying for university
> Escorts can charge as much as £3,000 for a six-hour booking at a client's hotel
Captured conversation transcript among four “escorts” at Davos: [E = Escort]
E1: These guys are absolutely nuts…they don’t care what you ask…especially that guy Larry…they say he’s the richest guy in the world…that he controls every major corporation on the planet. He actually paid me enough to cover my masters degree in French literature at the Sorbonne!
E4: Did you see that story in the Mail that said we were getting €3,000 for a trick. F*** that! Do you know what it costs them to fly their G7’s in here? F***ing €20,000 an hour! You want to fly me? I’ll give you a better ride than any G7 and you’ll pay for it.
E1: Well, like I say, you wouldn’t believe what I got from Larry…and you know what? He never took his clothes off. I never took my clothes off…he just wanted to talk. It was like he was this lonely guy who just wanted to have a nice conversation with a pretty girl who didn’t want anything from him. I felt really sorry for him…you know he was really nice to me…I hear that a lot of these master of the universe types hate themselves and everyone around them…
E2: Yeh that’s nice, but some of them are so weird. One of my friends told me that she did that Klaus guy…what a total f***ing weirdo.
E3: Noooooo kidding! …I did him last year…we should compare notes!
E2: Well, you wouldn’t believe it, she told me that there was no sex just like with that Larry guy! But he did take his clothes off…I can’t even imagine what that looked like…and he stood at the end of the bed for two hours, naked, ranting about how he was going to reset the world or something, I don’t know…she was so scared that she told me she hid under the covers with all HER clothes on until he…
E3: No kidding…that was not my experience. I had to give him instructions on how to do it! Is it possible that a guy who is that f***ing old could be a virgin? Well, he never got the hang of it…I spent hours trying to explain and demonstrate…
E4: I don’t think that Klaus is a virgin by choice…I think that he is the most sexually frustrated man alive! Nobody ever would f*** him and now he wants to kill everybody on the planet.
E3: At least that George guy wasn’t here this year…he must be 200 years old…anyway he looks like at least 150 and he thinks that he is God’s gift to women.
E2: Yeh, the WEF rep asked me and a couple of friends to do him last year and I just couldn’t force myself…I mean, I have my own dignity and going down on something like that is just not happening. Plus the fact, I am about to get my masters at the London School of Economics and I know this guy…he is one f***ing evil bastard…do you know that he once took down the Bank of England! The whole f***ing Bank of England!
E1: OMG, do you know who is the absolute total freakiest trick in this town, that Noah something guy! Klaus’ sidekick!
E2, E3, and E4 in unison: [unintelligible scream]
E4: I did him on Tuesday.
E1, E2, and E3 in unison: OMG, OMG, OMG…
E4: Best sex ever…I mean when I get back home I am going to teach my boyfriend some amazing new moves but I don’t think that he can do anything like Noah…this guy is like a machine or something…like, he’s like not human!
E1, E2, and E3 in unison: Whoa…tell us more!
E3: That’s incredible, he’s like a total geek, right? That’s the most amazing thing that I have always noticed…the geeks rule when they get in bed.
E4: No, this was different…I have had geeks before and most of them are like Klaus, they’re so sexually frustrated that when they finally get with anything in a skirt they go wild…but this was different…it was like a computer in an infinite sex loop…and I just got my PhD in computer science at L’Ecolé Polytechnique and I know an infinite loop when I see one.
E2: Speaking of geeks, did anybody do Billy G. this year?
E3: You know the money is great with Billy, but he is so ugly that I just can’t perform for him…I tried last year and was so turned off that I had to close my eyes and just get it over with…almost as bad as that Al guy, the one who was the vice president of…
E1: Oh sh*t, he’s another one who can’t stop talking when he’s doing it…every year I’ve done him it’s always, you know, the world is going to end and it never ends! This time after he paid me I told him that he was full of sh*t and nobody would ever believe anything that he said anymore…
E2: You really did that? You told a major league paying customer like that to f*** off?
E1: Yeh, I had just had that very profitable sit down with that Larry guy and I was feeling pretty good…
E3: For sure, there’s so much business here in Davos that you can afford to blow off one or two if it feels good…anyway, the one guy I’ve always wanted to do is that guy who looks like Lurch from the Addams Family…did you ever see that old TV show from America with Lurch? John something…he’s supposed to be really important because he marries really rich widows…
E1, E2, and E4 in unison: You want to do a corpse? That’s disgusting!
E3: You know, variety is the spice of life! Viva la difference!
E1: Got to get back to the Sorbonne, midterms coming up… I’ve got the bill…Here’s to Larry!
E2, E3, and E4 in unison: To Larry!!!