. . . Indeed "He" does!

Here's a short list of: "God's Favorite Ways to Kill"

1. Which of the following are among God’s methods of punishing those who break His commandments?

Correct Answer: “But if ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments…I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes…I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle” (Leviticus 26:14-22).

“If thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe to do all his commandments…The Lord will smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish…The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart” (Deuteronomy 28:15-28).

2. How does God handle people who make Him jealous by having a religion different than ours?

Correct Answer: “They sacrificed unto devils, not to God; to gods whom they knew not, to new gods that came newly up...And he said...They have moved me to jealousy with that which is not God; they have provoked me to anger... For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains.

I will heap mischiefs upon them; I will spend mine arrows upon them. They shall be burnt with hunger, and devoured with burning heat, and with bitter destruction: I will also send the teeth of beasts upon them, with the poison of serpents of the dust. The sword without, and terror within, shall destroy both the young man and the virgin, the suckling also with the man of gray hairs” (Deuteronomy 32:17-25).

“Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel” (Psalms 2:8).

3. How does God kill whiners?

Correct Answer: Fire.) “And when the people complained, it displeased the Lord: and the Lord heard it; and his anger was kindled; and the fire of the Lord burnt among them, and consumed them that were in the uttermost parts of the camp” (Numbers 11:1).

4. How does God prefer to torture those who somehow become enemies of His chosen people?

Correct Answer: “God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations of his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows” (Numbers 24:8).

“Moreover the Lord thy God will send the hornet among them, until they that are left, and hide themselves from thee, be destroyed. Thou shalt not be affrighted at them: for the Lord thy God is among you, a mighty God and terrible” (Deuteronomy 7:20-21).

“And I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood” (Isaiah 49:26).

5. How does God kill those who vacation in Egypt?

Correct Answer: (Take your pick.) “And now therefore hear the word of the Lord, ye remnant of Judah; Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; If you wholly set your faces to enter into Egypt, and go to sojourn there;

Then it shall come to pass, that the sword, which ye feared, shall overtake you there in the land of Egypt, and the famine, whereof ye were afraid, shall follow close after you there in Egypt; and there ye shall die. So shall it be with all the men that set their faces to go into Egypt to sojourn there; they shall die by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence: and none of them shall remain or escape from the evil that I will bring upon them” (Jeremiah 42:15-17).

6. How did God express his hatred toward people living in metropolitan Babylon?

Correct Answer: (By turning the men into drag queens.) “How is Babylon become a desolation among the nations. A sword is upon their horses, and upon their chariots, and upon all the mingled people that are in the midst of her; and they shall become as women: and sword is upon her treasures; and they shall be robbed” (Jeremiah 50:23, 37)

7. When a community’s sins really make God mad, how does God find comfort?

Correct Answer: “Wherefore, as I live, saith the Lord God; Surely, because thou hast defiled my sanctuary with all thy detestable things, and with all thine abominations, therefore will I also diminish thee; neither shall mine eye spare, neither will I have any pity.

A third part of thee shall die with the pestilence, and with famine shall they be consumed in the midst of thee: and a third part shall fall by the sword round about thee; and I will scatter a third part into all the winds, and I will draw out a sword after them. Thus shall mine anger be accomplished, and I will cause my fury to rest upon them, and I will be comforted” (Ezekiel 5:11-13).

8. Whom does God slaughter when He gets jealous because a community is worshiping someone else?

Correct Answer: “Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up” (Hosea 13:16).

9. How does God punish promiscuous folks, like men who have sex with both their wives and mothers-in-law and daughters of priests who sleep around?

Correct Answer: (He has them burned with fire.) “And if a man take a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burnt with fire, both he and they; that there be no wickedness among you” (Leviticus 20:14).

“And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire” (Leviticus 21:9).

10. In Jesus’ time, how did the Trinity deal with nonbelievers?

Correct Answer: “And immediately the angel of the Lord smote him, because he gave not God the glory: and he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost” (Acts 12:23).

“But Elymas the sorcerer (for so is his name by interpretation) withstood them, seeking to turn away the deputy from the faith. Then Saul, (who also is called Paul,) filled with the Holy Ghost, set his eyes on him. And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord? And now, behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thee, and thou shalt be blind, not seeing the sun for a season. And immediately there fell on him a mist and a darkness; and he went about seeking some to lead him by the hand” (Acts 13:8-11).

Time to 'follow' the real Creator of All Things, and it ("He") isn't likely to be found in the pages of the 'Old Testament', by and large!

Bob
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