Everyone Is Laughing at the Ridiculous Pelosi Big Lie
Kurt Schlichter | Townhall
Oct 31, 2022

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How dare you reject the Official Approved Narrative™ parroted by the regime media about the weird Schiff that went down at Casa de Pelosi the other night. There’s only one possible explanation, according to experts, licensed journalists, and our betters – an underwear-clad MAGA assassin from a hippie commune in Berkeley who is best known for his nudist activism broke into the oddly unguarded mansion of the Speaker of the House, a wealthy woman who has her police force and has not been shy about expounding on the perilous peril she faces from murderous insurrectionists, carrying a hammer and encountered the wide-awake Paul Pelosi, also in his skivvies, who the intruder then let go off and call the cops wherein Mr. Pelosi referred to the guy as his friend.

Look, it’s pretty clear that this was just one more Trump-inspired attack on Our Democracy, and to fail to accept this wholeheartedly is to be a conspiracy theorist who is blaming the victim and doing Putin’s bidding. It’s also racist.

That’s certainly one way to look at it. Perhaps a guy walking through San Francisco in his Fruit of the Looms with a hammer in his hand at 2 a.m. might not draw a lot of attention, but a lot of things don’t quite add up. Hey, I don’t know about you, but I have a few questions, some of which could be quickly answered with a House oversight committee deposing Paul Pelosi once he recovers and, just to be sure, sending a subpoena to Grindr.

An official investigation? Yes, please! This is a serious matter, we’re told. After all, the regime media and Democrats such as Ilhan Omar are out there making charges like “A far-right white nationalist tried to assassinate the Speaker of the House and almost killed her husband a year after violent insurrectionists tried to find her and kill her in the Capitol, and the Republican Party’s response is to either ignore it or belittle it.” Heck, Our Democracy is at stake, so the incoming Republican majority must get to the bottom of this alleged act of political violence.