The Reptile Report #102899
CIA, YOU’RE OUT!

The Central Intelligence [sic] Agency has absolutely no right to use the word “Intelligence” in their name. They are not an agency of intelligence, nor were they ever an agency of intelligent activities. They have, tricksters that they are, obfuscated the word “intelligence” and absconded with its meaning. They have, in fact, committed a heinous crime against a word that is so lofty, so sacred, I would not be exaggerating if I called it the Crown Jewel of Life On Earth. They are guilty of high-slander and the punishment for such an egregious act is the surrender of this treasured word immediately.

Since Intelligence results only when Creative Thought, Intuition, Wonder and Imagination are all activated at the same time it’s easy to see why the “I” in CIA is fraudulent. There has never been a Creative Thought in the history of this organization. It’s an old worn-out ritual that began when Satan’s Oldsmobile, er...I mean, Satan’s Josephmobile, “invited” his brethren into Egypt and ensconced them in the land of Goshen where they formed the first terrorist “agency” on Earth. It was called, in their own secret language, something akin to:

“Goshen Today,
Egypt Tomorrow
and The Day After Tomorrow,
THE WORLD!”

Since the CIA is a hotbed of spies, they clearly demonstrate that they lack Intuition. STRIKE ONE. Those who possess Intuition don’t have to spy, they simply “know”. Since the CIA is trained to obey without question, which is the antithesis of Wonder, they loose out again. STRIKE TWO. Since the CIA clearly has no Imagination, having repeated the same old rituals ad infinitum, canceling out Imagination. STRIKE THREE!

CIA, YOU’RE OUT!

Therefore I am removing the word “Intelligence” from your name and replacing it with “Insipid” which is far more accurate, and ‘cause I’m nice, I’m leaving your logo intact.

From now on you will be known as the Central Insipid Agency.

Jana Janus
Omnipresent on The Mean Planet