Nayfish Potchkee Rebbe #031801
Performing Arts and Slave Children

Nayfish Potchkee Rebbe (aka NPR) just announced that San Franciscans are being urged to contact their representatives for more money to fund the arts in schools.

“Hey,” I responded, “I have an idea. What about the performing arts?”

My suggestion is this: why not bring the slave Children from India to San Francisco and have them perform carpet weaving from inside their locked looms? I’m sure that this can be categorized as Performing Art! And that would certainly be an Arts Project worth funding. In addition, the slave Children could teach the San Francisco Children a real skill, carpet weaving.

I think we could expand on this and bring a line of loom Children to Las Vegas where Mr. Donald Reynolds, the man with a moneybag for a head, might utilize his obvious abilities and have carpet weaving contests. Heck, it could be bigger than Greyhound racing. Imagine a huge stage with wall-to-wall looms and tiny little skinny waifs, with numbers pinned on their backs, weaving away, faster and faster, ‘till they either drop or finish their carpet. Think of the money that could be made! The overhead would be extremely low. Slave Children probably don’t eat much and they certainly don’t expect fancy accommodations or medical benefits. Their upkeep would be minuscule compared to their money-generating abilities. The winning carpet could be sold at auction to the set who desperately need “conversation pieces” because, like Mr. Donald Reynolds, they have moneybags for heads and therefore lack the necessary organ to generate their own conversations.

Jana Janus
Reporter