The Thrill Report #090899 OPERATION H2O
Buddha and I have been laughing so hard it took a major effort just to stop laughing long enough to write about it.
You know, the Universe is really big, I mean REALLY BIG, bigger than anything you, or even I, can imagine. The scale is...let’s just say it’s off the scale, immeasurable, infinite, “La Grande Enchilada”. Well, in something this big, there are a lot of places for Satan to play ”hide the salami” for eons without ever getting caught. It was a problem. Even Universal Intelligence has its problems. (As above, so below.) Well, they have been on to him for a long, long time but they always arrived just after he left. They had only to sift through the charred rubble, characteristic of his exit, to see that they had a nasty customer on their hands. Each site they tracked him to was worse than the last. They knew that something had to be done, and quickly. (Quick in the Universal sense could be thousands of Earth years.)
This all happened thousands of years ago.
They decided the only way to nail him was to set a trap. They had discovered that all Satan’s targets had one thing in common: H2O! Satan loved water, or rather Satan hated water. His mission in life was to seek it out and dry it up. Satan was already as dry as an old bone, and just about as attractive. He was also perpetually on fire, having been condemned to hell for all eternity, so water was what he longed for most and could never have. That’s the basis of his love/hate relationship to it, water that is. He thirsted for it yet as soon as he came near it, it boiled, vaporized and disappeared right in front of his eyes. That is what the “unquenchable thirst” is all about. Satan’s motto, “If I can’t have it, no one else is going to have it either.”
Satan was never known for his generosity.
Jealousy drove him like a bed of nails stuck in his behind. He could never rest because he couldn’t sit down. Jealousy is like that, you know. No respite. It just keeps adding fuel to its already raging fire. All that happens is that the fire burns greater and greater ‘till thirst is all there is. No water can get close enough to put out the fires of jealousy. It is vicious circle. That’s also an apt description of “hell”.
The Universal Council knew they had to catch him in the act. They also realized they had to know exactly how he did it. They came up with a plan.
They searched the Universe until they found the perfect bait: Earth! The conditions were exactly what they needed. Earth was strictly Paradise. It was a completely closed system, self-sustaining. Everything flourished. It was peaceful and beautiful and of course, filled abundantly with gentle H2O (aka Soul). All was in harmony. The Council knew that Satan would eventually find his way to Earth especially if they put out the word that Earth existed and gave out the coordinates, which they did once they secured the cooperation of The Earth and The Sun. They had many meetings working out the plans. Both The Earth and The Sun were in full agreement. They both understood the importance of catching Satan in the act. All Intelligent Beings knew how important it was to observe how he did it. Without this knowledge it would be impossible to prevent the same thing happening at some future point. They had to know Satan’s activities from The Alpha to The Omega.
To accomplish this it was necessary to send in one of their own. A Divine Being capable of reproducing, in other words, a female. It was a tough assignment for this brave and courageous One because it meant having all knowledge of her Origin blocked. She would not “remember” who she was or where she came from. This had to be because Satan, crafty old devil that he was, could be tipped off by the slightest flicker of Heaven.
The Universal Council searched through their Warrior base and found The Right One. After putting her though all the tests and observing her outstanding performance, they were confident in their choice. Then began a very special training, which ended when they outfitted her as a walking talking Walkie Talkie. When she was complete, they held a very High Council in her honor and the last thing they did before they sent her to Earth was set her to awaken in January 1978. This was necessary due to the fact that she would be asleep, recording all the events of her lifetimes and would not remember herself until the final stage.
When everything was complete and they had showered her with enough Love to last for a million years, they placed her on Earth, in Paradise, surrounded by a Garden. They gave her everything she needed to eat; herbs and seeds, fruits and vegetables. The Garden was rich in nourishment and the water running through it was the elixir of Life. To drink of this water was to drink from the Fountain of Creation Itself. They gave her many companions, gentle and kind. She was surrounded by Birds and Butterflies, Lambs and Cows. All Creatures great and small ate the same foods, therefore they all spoke the same language.
Our little Warrior spent her days Creating Flowers. They were so beautiful that they caused the Butterflies to become even more colorful. When the Birds looked upon the Flowers they were inspired to sing even greater songs. All in The Garden knew Joy because of these works of Creation.
All went like this for eons until one night a round light appeared in the sky. It looked just like a night sun. It was strange. The Garden became disquieted. Chaos burst forth in the form of an invisible giant stomping through the Flowers. Everywhere nourishment and beauty lay broken. The gentle ones hid themselves. They were afraid but they didn’t know a word for this. Something was wrong.
After a time a stranger appeared.
He seemed to look a bit like her but he was rough to her smoothness, empty to her fullness, agitated to her peacefulness, dark to her light. He was too different. When she rejected him he forced himself upon her. He was driven by violence that seemed to arise with the serpent between his legs. The bigger the serpent grew, the more brutal the man became. The serpent forced its way into her body and left its seed inside her. All of her Joy vanished as the seed grew inside her. The seed seemed to eat her from within.
No more flowers were created.
After a time great pain wracked her body and tore her in half for a very long time. The man was nowhere to be found. She was alone in this. When at last, the pain stopped, a little person broke free of her body. It also had a serpent between its legs but she loved him immediately and fiercely. She loved him with all her Being. She did not love the stranger at all. She did not know this, but that stranger was Satan.
Recommended reading: TTR THE ANCIENT ONES SPEAK and TMR I CONDEMN THEE OLD LORD (in this order).
Jana Janus Scribe in the Ancient Language of Thrill
