Dear RM Agents and Readers,

I've known for sometime that the natural world often seemed more connected to me than many people. I trusted the natural world, I knew it had dangers; it didn't deceive; all I had to do was pay attention and listen and I flowed with it. Before a tornado, the bugs quit singing, it gets too quiet; before an avalanche often snowballs roll down the side of the mountain in the snow. Before an earth quake many animals will get the jitters and be spooked and run from home.

I received a phone call the other day about money; between 3 and 4 hundred dollars that I had turned down in 1996 or so. They placed a gas well by my home and I heard it running at night and was called with a percentage of money made off the land. I refused the money. The man told me on the phone to just send me my address and he would send a check every year.

I thought what they were doing was wrong and could not accept a check for wrong action. First, he gently told me just take the money and invest it in some green group so I would feel better about it. I knew that was wrong as it would imply that I approved and so rejected that thought and said that wouldn't work I don't believe in what you are doing.

His next approach was to rage at me on the phone, violently and I said no and hung up. At the time I was not rich and have never been except by my own perspective:) We made at that time about 25,000. dollars a year and were raising 4 daughters at the time that later turned into 5. So at that time I turned down the money.

Now some years later I have but a few things that hopefully one day will be used to create my own wealth. Yet, I have no car, no home that is my own, I barely make enough money to feed myself and extra herbs and vitamins to heal. So when this recent reminder of the money came in; I thought, nothing has changed except I'm broke. Yet, I did the right thing then and I'm doing the right thing now. If anyone takes it; it will be the ex as that was always his spirit, not mine.

My spirit, my persona, who I really am was taken on by someone else during a divorce; when I was poisoned. My body still struggles but I know that my choices over the last 30 years were with great reflection and thought and care, for the environment, the people in it, animals and my respect of a Great God Source; intelligent Universe (many of the names are interchangeable).

Are there some things I might have changed had I knew the whole story. Yes, that is true; but everyone has places in time that they are deceived and do the best they can in those moments. How many of us really get up in the morning and set out to do our personal worst???

True environmentalism and Agenda 21 are not the same thing. We can care about the people and the environment and find balance in that thought process.

Many Blessings,

CrystalRiver:)