When something happens that you don’t like, the only rational response is to cry about it. Thankfully there are many ways to that. If life is screwing you, screw it right back. How dare life be different than you think it should be. You have the absolute responsibility and perfect right to complain when someone is not like you, doesn’t think like you, doesn’t look like you, doesn’t do things your way. So many people think life is about them, about their happiness. They couldn’t be more wrong. Life is about you, YOUR happiness. Those other people are nuts.

“IT’S YOUR WAY, OR THERE’S HELL TO PAY.” That’s your motto. Your body, mind, and emotions have needs, wants, and desires. It’s your job to fulfill them. It is unrealistic, irrational, illogical, nonsensical and unreasonable for you to roll over and accept life being different than the way you think it should be. Just because life has been getting away with doing things its way for like forever, gives it no right to continue doing that now that you’re here. It’s time to let life know who you are, to show it what you can do. It’s time to RELEASE: THE CRYBABY.

It’s time to show the world just how big of a pain in the ass you can be when life doesn’t go your way. Do not let people who disagree with your be at peace, happy and joyful. Make them pay. Make them regret that you were ever born. Make them repent that they ever befriended, dated, or married you. This is your life. Give ‘em hell. Make their lives miserable. UNLEASH THE CRYBABY!

When your mind is not happy, make sure no one is happy. When your mind is unpleasant, make sure everyone is unpleasant. Never be at peace when life doesn’t go your way. Never let your mind accept reality. If you accept reality, you’re nuts. Don’t be nuts. Drive reality nuts. Drive others nuts. Use your weapons: give them the silent treatment, pout, sulk, bitch and moan. Get irritated, upset and angry. Show them just how unpleasant you can make their lives. And if they try to share logic and reason that doesn’t jive with your way–which is THE way, the right way–make sure there’s hell to pay. Use the weapon you used when you were a two-year old, throw a tantrum, roll on the floor, gyrate your body, thrash around, flail your legs and arms, pummel yourself, yell, scream, swear like a sailor, and then get up and throw things. To add insult to injury, use your ultimate weapon: Look them in the eyes and yell, “You don’t love me!” and then walk away all huffy and puffy like, and later, when they are lucky enough to see you again, use your body language, slouch, frown, look dejected, unconsolable, and then smack ‘em with dirty looks. Never undervalue the destructively rejuvenating power of THE CRYBABY.