Jimmy, you cab run, but you can't hide (for long)
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James Comey is Moving to New Zealand, and Other Great News for America
October 27, 2019 by David Blackmon 6 Comments
Today’s Campaign Update
(Because The Campaign Never Ends)

Great news, everyone! James Comey is moving to New Zealand! – The Nation’s Teenage Drama Queen and former FBI Director James Comey will be moving to New Zealand in November, 2020, after Donald Trump wins his inevitable re-election. That’s the promise the big, tall doofus made to MSNBC fake journalist Nicolle Wallace during a Saturday appearance at some minor event in Nashville:

James Comey: But we have something in common. And I said it when I sat here with the first question you asked. We have a set of values that are at the core of this country that hold this place together… Our leaders must reflect the glue that holds us together. They can’t be people who lie all the time. They just can’t. And I hope people see that’s true whether they are Republicans or Democrats.

Nicolle Wallace: What if he wins again?

James Comey: I will be, from my new home in New Zealand, but I still will believe in America.

So, we got that going for us, folks.

Of course, Mr. Comey didn’t say how he would make it all the way to New Zealand from his future cell in a federal maximum security prison. He probably has an escape plan that involves blending in with the drapes [think about it]. Regardless, we can be sure that in his weird mind, he is no doubt already there.

Speaking of people who lie all the time, the nation’s Unfrozen Caveman Senator is now lying about where he went to college:

Serious Question: Does Joe Biden remember where he went to school?pic.twitter.com/hHGZvWVUfv

— Benny (@bennyjohnson) October 26, 2019

Transcript:

“I got started out of an HBCU, Delaware State. And I don’t wanna hear anything negative about Delaware State here – they’re my folks. But all kidding aside…but the fact is, HBCU’s are in trouble financially.”

As the hilarious Benny Johnson points out in a subsequ..

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