‘Fairness is often lost to chance.’

Anonymous

Maybe long ago, in some lost beginning
Life was easier forging ahead for the
Simple needs of survival by instinct
And raw senses…when nature was closer
And there were less constructed concepts.
Simpler times!

But in a modern world of conveniences
There are more needs, more demands

And more free time. More time for
Wisdom and learning, more time for leisure
And indulgences…and more complications.
There is more hope and fear, more
Aspirations…and more shadows than ever
Before. Both backward and forward become
Infinite. There is darkness and light…
And a greater need to understand
Everything at once…And the balance
Is a tournament of opinions.

Experiences are vast…the wise accept this,
Learn from it…while the rest want to
Slap a label on it, categorize and move
On their way. A mainstream way; that
Is crumbling fast. The bravest change
The rules to survive.

2004…
In a dream, there was a boy, a young
Man named Jason. Just an average
Kid from Maine, from an average
Family in a classic small town. He
Had dreams and goals but didn’t know
How to pull them together. He was young,
And that’s Okay. There’s too much pressure
In a modern world to move ahead
So fast; peer pressure and family pressure
Can be overwhelming. He had some nice
Normal friends, and played some sports for
Fun more than anything; soccer. Girls
Liked him, and some boys too – it’s a modern
World. But by far, his character was
Pretty clean cut…and therefore too boring
For most.

One Friday Night…
When he started college, he was with
His friends at a pizza parlor in his
Town…where a small group of girls
That were there, hanging out for the
Night, took interest in him and his
Friends. A fairly typical story, there
Was laughing and light flirting…but
One of the girls apparently had more
Serious motives. There was talk of
The supernatural, ghost stories…stories
About Ouija boards and witchcraft. Maybe
It meant nothing, but some of the girls
Wore pendants, either pentagrams or
Amulets.

The girls were too loud, and kind of
Strange…So when the boys decided to
Leave…It became uncomfortable. One
Of the girls became more insistent
And spouted talk of an age of goddesses
And women power, and became very
Pushy. Finally, the boys left, but
Not before Jason noticed this one
Girl, Claire, giving him an evil eye
And hearing her chant strange
Words at him.

Jason became very nervous, but
Tried to blow it all off with his
Friends. All of his friends tried never
To take anything seriously. Perhaps
It meant nothing, or everything…
In a modern world, nothing is really
So simple anymore. So, he left.

That night Jason was restless and
Couldn’t fall asleep. While he tried to
Forget all aspects of the evening…He
Kept hearing odd chanting and felt
A chill. He fell into a strange sleep.
Shadows and whispers filled his head
In a dark fog that enfolded all around
Him. Again, he saw the girls from
The Pizza Parlor in his dream…
But they looked menacing and ugly.
And there was something with them,
But they couldn’t see it…A big
Black shadow in monstrous form…
With red eyes that glowed and
Watched him and burned into him.
Did the girls know what they
Were doing? Yes and no; it was
A game to them, more than
Anything.

But this thing with them was intense
And malevolent…fixating on him
With a stare that looked at him like
Food…then the girls vanished, and
This monster, that appeared to
Look like some big black wing-less
Gargoyle moved in on him in the
Black fog…Eyes burning into
Him, paralyzed him. He could not
Move. But inside he was terrified,
His heart beat like it would explode.
And its sinister raspy voice echoed
Through his ears, telling him…’You
Are mine, and shall serve me as I
Wish…You are nothing, and can not
Resist me…Now serve me, and
Feed me!’ All at once it pinned
Him and held him down, tore
Off his clothes, stripped him naked
And satisfied its cravings with him
With the delight of terror.

When he awoke in the morning,
He was numb and dizzy, his
Entire bedroom felt wrong and
Foreign, everything felt off.
He looked beside his bed and found
His torn t-shirt on the floor. “What the
Hell?”

His eyes felt foggy, his head heavy.
And he just sat there staring
Blindly at the wall trying to think of
Anything, but couldn’t. No words or
Thoughts could come to his mind.
Finally, somehow, he stood and went to
His mirror, staring at his own
Reflection like he had no idea who
It was. Then he felt the strange
Soreness on his back and half
Turned around…and his eyes bulged.
There were huge scratches and welts
On his back and strange skin
Burns down his legs. His heart beat
Fast as he remembered suddenly…
That dream, the Nightmare! That
THING! NO, NO, NO! It was a
Dream, that’s all! That’s impossible!
NO, that’s impossible!

He panicked, denied everything his mind
Told him, and tried to rationalize it anyway
That he could. No, no it couldn’t be real.
Things like that don’t happen…
That’s television and the movies…But
Then, where did all the stuff he saw and
Heard of on TV come from? Those girls
From the Pizza Parlor sure seemed
Serious about it…
But the more that time passed, and
The day went on, the worse he felt,
Physically and emotionally. He couldn’t
Talk about it, but flashes of the girls
And what happened in the night
Haunted him…and those scratches,
Those burns, he felt sick.

Finally, that night, he asked his
Friend and neighbor, Trevor, to come
To play some video games…But what
He really wanted to do was talk about
What happened Friday night.

Trevor came over and they hung out in
His room, in sweats and jeans, at his
Computer. And as he pretended to
Select some games to play, Jason turned
To his friend nervously to ask, “Do you
Remember those girls last night? Weren’t
They acting weird?”

“All chicks are weird in groups,” Trevor
Laughed. “It’s like a rule or something.”

Jason laughed. “Yeah, But what they
Kept talking about…Witchcraft, the
Supernatural?”

“Chicks do that.” Trevor laughed, drinking
His coffee. “They like the power thing.”

“Do you believe in that stuff?” Jason
Asked. “What do you think about it?”

“I don’t know, Dude.” Trevor answered.
‘It’s like Movie stuff…Like something
To do for Halloween I guess.”

Jason took a risk to tell his friend
About his dream last night, then he
Showed him the scratches on his back
And the burns on his legs. Trevor went
Pale and quiet. Suddenly everything
Was very serious. Trevor knew Jason
Didn’t lie or make up things; Jason
Was known for being kind of dull…and not
Very creative. Then Trevor looked intense.
“Dude, you are freaking me out…Not
Sure what to say…I’ve never heard
Of anything like this.” But there
Was something else Trevor knew that
He was holding back…

“So, what is it?” Jason asked. “What
Is this, a dream? I don’t know what
To think…It’s crazy. I feel sick
About this man. I don’t like it.” But
He watched Trevor’s face, it was like
Stone. “What, Dude you think I’m
Crazy, right?”

“Listen, I have to tell you something.”
Trevor said as he began to talk low
For some reason; even though no one could
Hear them. “This morning, my dad told
Me there was a bad accident just
Outside of town, late last night…Four
College girls were killed in a head-on
Collision near the railroad crossing. Dude,
It was those four girls from the Pizza
Parlor last night.”

Jason’s eyes bulged. “What?”

“You heard me.”

He became even more nervous. “So, what
Is it, what does that mean?” Jason
Asked. “This is weird. This is just
Too weird!” Jason stopped and turned
To him just as he was ready to pace
Around his room. “They burned to death,
Didn’t they? In a white car?”

“Dude, how did you know that?’
Trevor asked. “How did you – I was
Just going to say that…”

“I just knew.” Jason froze, too numb
To move. “I can see it in my head…
The accident. How? How could I?”

“Dude, chill out.” Trevor said nervous now.
“You are freaking me out.”

“What is this?” Jason asked, thinking
Out loud. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know Dude.” Trevor said. “Can
You…see…anything else?”

“Just their faces screaming.” Jason
Said overcome by the vision. “They
Were terrified, they couldn’t get out of the
Car.”

“Dude, stop! You’re freaking me out!”
Trevor said loud and wild-eyed; but
But also, kind of intrigued. “I don’t know,
I don’t know. Dude, this is weird!”

“How do you think I feel? I don’t know
What this is, what to think!” Jason
Said panicking, holding his head like it
Might fall off.

“Listen, just calm down alright.” Trevor
Told him, holding out his hand to steady
The mood. “Just…don’t think about it.
Let it go man…chill, take a deep
Breath…and let it go. It was a
Dream you had, that’s all…”

“Let it go? How can I?” Jason panted.
He pointed over his shoulder to his
Back. “You saw those scratches,
What did that? They’re huge! And
These weird burns, what…are they – “

“Dude, just shut up. Don’t think
About it.” Trevor blinked and shook
His head. “You probably messed up
Your back falling out of bed or
Something.”

“Fell out of bed, and tore my clothes
Off? What – come on!” Jason
Scowled. “How, on the carpet? This
Has to be something – “

“STOP IT!” Trevor told him. “Don’t
Think about it. It was a dream,
That’s it. We had a weird night, met
Some freaky weird girls. Shit
Happens. Now forget about it. This
Is too weird to talk or think about.
It’s nothing!”

Jason saw it was pointless to go on…
So, he gave in, and they played
Some video games quietly and the
Topic never came up again.

But it wasn’t over. In the following
Days things only grew worse. As the
Scratches and welts and burns
Healed and disappeared…he grew
More anxious, his dreams became more
Active and tormenting. And visions
Filled his head, premonitions that came
True immediately and days later. His
Ears were filled with whispers and
Echoes of voices…of people he knew
And saw and didn’t. And then
Words would come out of their mouths
After he heard them…Identical words,
And carefully altered or edited words
From everyone. He was hearing their
Thoughts! At times, he called them
Out on it, they immediately denied
It, but they watched him with
Such intense paranoia and carefully
Spoken words…something was
Clearly going on. He felt like he
Had been cursed.

His friends began to avoid him, especially
Trevor. And soon, he began attracting
Strange people into his life…people
He did not want to know. So, he
Learned to keep his mouth shut and
Avoided people. And he knew what
They were thinking anyway…which
Severely challenged his perceptions of
Who everyone really was.

He began turning to his computer to
Research online…the Supernatural,
Monsters, the Occult, premonitions…
Anything that could possibly find
Peace. In forums, he saw rumors
Of others researching, or asking about
Similar things. But they were always
Laughed at, dismissed or ridiculed…
Or analyzed by psychologists. It
Was odd how psychologists always
Lingered in those forums…they always
Quickly put down any questionable
Topic…like they were trained to do…
To maintain the status quo…and
Make people afraid to talk…A few
Even approached him to offer very
Private, in their home, counselling…
Very affectionately. Of course, he said NO.

Then one Wednesday night
His father came and told him
Something awful happened to his
Friend Trevor. His parents had called…
Trevor had been having some problems
Sleeping…something about strange
Nightmares…He had gone to the store
Late last night for something and
Was killed in a terrible car accident.
Jason hadn’t seen him in days…
Trevor was avoiding him…He was
Having nightmares about friends
Being in bad car accidents…but…
There had been so many accidents
That year…He panicked more
And more…

That night he had had it and reached
A breaking point, and as a last
Desperate resort, he did what he
Was most afraid to do then…go into
An online chat room and try to
Find someone to talk to. But how
To find one? The only one he could
Find, all anyone talked about was
TV shows…Vampires, The X Files…
It was very fragmented talk with
A lot of jokes mixed in. Not the
Right place for anything serious.
Then somehow, he selected an
Astrology chat room…maybe
There would be something there.

The conversation was light but promising.
And the chat names were outrageous…
Everyone was either Cosmic, a
Princess, or a fairy, or an elf…what
The hell? Soon he was bombarded
With private messages requesting
Age/sex/location? Do you have a
Picture? He was overwhelmed…was
It a dating chat room? The main
Room was very polite…but the private
Messages were ridiculous!

He tried to communicate in the main
Room but was politely ignored…However
The chatters continued to send private
Messages to flirt…Then he rethought
Whether he should have put ‘jock’ in
His profile…apparently, that intrigued
A lot of women and men privately…
A LOT.

And then…something different. A message
Came from a Cynthia 0140…

Cynthia 0140: Hello. Did you want to ask
Something?
Jason: I was looking for help with
A problem.
Cynthia 0140: What kind of problem?
Jason: You’re not going to ask me
a/s/l ? lol
Cynthia 0140: No, lol…Are you getting a
Lot of messages?
Jason: Yes, lol
Cynthia 0140: I’m sorry, lol. But that’s
Normal. There’s a lot of that online.
The inner beast comes out.
Jason: Can you help me?
Cynthia 0140: Maybe. What’s the problem?
Jason: Are you a psychic or
Astrologer? (His intuition was very suspicious)
(pause)
Cynthia 0140: Do you think so?
(pause)
Jason: Not sure
(pause)
Cynthia 0140: But you asked. Hmm.
Jason: I was just curious.
Cynthia 0140: What kind of problem do
you have Jason?
Jason: How did you know my name?
(his chat name was smalltown77)
Cynthia 0140: You know how.
Jason: But you asked about my
Problem…do you know?
Cynthia 0140: It doesn’t work like that Jason.
Ok, I have a databoard. Lol
Jason: What’s that?
Cynthia 0140: Nevermind, lol. Can I help
You?
Jason: I’ve been having these dreams
And visions after this happened to
Me a few weeks ago… (at this point
He recounted the story to her).
Cynthia 0140: Wow Jason!
Jason: I know. It’s crazy.
Cynthia 0140: No, it’s not.
Jason: (eagerly) Have you heard of this
Before?
Cynthia 0140: Rarely. But yes.
(pause)
Jason: So, what is it? Can I stop it?
Cynthia 0140: Why would you want to
do that Jason?
Jason: Huh?
Cynthia 0140: Maybe this could be a gift?
Jason: A gift? No! This is a curse!
Cynthia 0140: Now Jason.
…he began feeling very uneasy…
Jason: Do you know where I could
Find others to talk to about this?
Cynthia 0140: Hmm…
Jason: What?
Cynthia 0140: I’m sure they’re afraid to
Talk about it.
Jason: Yeah, I guess it’s crazy to
Talk about. But I would like to.
Cynthia 0140: You can talk to me
(he was very suspicious)
Jason: Well how can you help me?
Cynthia 0140: You shouldn’t tell anyone,
They will not understand.
Jason: Huh? But you just said…
(pause)
Jason: Are you really a girl?
Cynthia 0140: No.
Jason: Then why did you pick a girl’s name?
Cynthia 0140: Girls are easier to talk to.
(pause)
Cynthia 0140: You should turn off your
Computer and go to bed now, Sweetie.
We’re watching you. You’re so cute
Jason. Do you know that?
Jason: (nervously) Thanks.
Cynthia 0140: Goodnight.

Jason turned off the computer and
Went to bed and didn’t touch it
Again for a year.

Valiant.