How To Survive Stupid People
By Bill White
Foreseeing disasters and preparing for them is what preppers do. I mean, thatís what makes us preppers, right? So we should always be looking forward, seeing the next potential disaster and trying to figure out how to survive it. While many of those potential disasters will never come to pass, the one that does makes it all worthwhile.
But all this looking forward can have its own consequences. We can end up having tunnel vision to the future, and end up not seeing whatís going on around us. We can be looking to see the zombie apocalypse thatís coming in the future, and because of that, not see the zombies walking all around us.
Yes folks, we are living in the midst of a zombie apocalypse right now, and we havenít even noticed it. I am speaking, of course, of all the stupid people around us. You know what I meanÖ or at least I hope you do. Otherwise, you might need to check yourselfÖ for you might be one of them.
Trigger Warning: If any of you are stupid enough to not recognize that this article is satirical in nature, then you are at risk of being just the type of people who are likely to be qualified as stupid people. Beware! You are at danger of natural selection.
Please note that this article does not refer in any way to people who have a low intelligence quotient, more commonly referred to as the IQ. Rather, it is actually referring to people who have no common sense whatsoever; the other type of intelligence necessary for survival.
While common sense is by no means common, it is what protects humankind from destroying ourselves. Perhaps it is this lack of commonness, which is causing the downslide of said humankind.
The level of stupidity in the world is on the upswing. To prove this point, scientific studies have shown that functional illiteracy rates amongst industrialized English-speaking nations are on the decline. Itís not just here in the USA either; this phenomenon is happening in all of the major English-speaking countries, around the world.
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Iím not sure whatís happening in countries where English is a secondary language, because as best I know, no studies of this type have been done in those countries.
Some are proposing that it is the English language that is causing the dumbing down of these countries, but I beg to differ. There is ample evidence that this is all a part of a sinister government plot; one designed to make us all into slaves of the government, doing nothing more than what our betters in government service tell us to do and not doing anything they donít tell us to do.
Just look at all the stories on the Internet that are talking about nefarious actions on the part of our government to dumb us down. Iíll mention just four here:
Fluoride in the water, which has been shown to destroy brain cells, is common throughout the United States. The excuse for this is to improve dental health. But if that was true, then why doesnít our water carry things to heal us of other diseases as well?
Smart-meters, which are replacing normal power meters, and surrounding us with a field of electromagnetic radiation, as if our smartphones werenít already sending enough electromagnetic radiation into our brains to damage them.
Chemtrails, where the government is forcing the major airline companies to poison us, putting chemicals in the upper atmosphere, so that they will fall down upon us. We have all become human lab rats, part of a great experiment to turn us into the walking brain dead.
Common Core curriculum, which teaches children how to come up with the wrong answers to math problems and penalizes them for being right about just about anything.
The list goes on and on. Secret and secretive forces in our government are clearly bent on nefarious purposes; ones which will turn us all into mindless slaves, just like the dumb people all around us.
Just look at how people live their lives today. The average stupid person lives like little more than a two-legged animal. Perhaps thatís why they are referred to as ďsheeple.Ē They get up in the morning, eat and dress. Then itís off to work at some mind-numbing job which hasnít yet been replaced by a computer.
After work, itís home to eat again, then sit in front of the boob tube, mesmerized by images of actors and actresses acting dumb for big bucks. TV programming is available around the clock, so that those who have insomnia can continue living their lives vicariously through the actors, rather than living a real life of their own.
Eventually itís off to bed, resting in preparation of another day of work and television.
You call that a life? I suppose if youíre a cow it is. Eat, work and sleep; thatís it. Not much of a requirement for a brain in all that. Definitely no need for any form of higher thought. They can dumb us down, and still get the dayís quota of work out of us.
One Potential Solution
There is one potential solution, which has been offered to solve the problem of all the stupid people who are taking over the world. Thatís to simply remove all the warning labels off of products and outlaw warning statements like, ďdonít try this at homeĒ on YouTube videos.
That one simple act could have far-reaching consequences, allowing natural selection to once again take over.
In case youíre not familiar with the concept of natural selection, itís part of Darwinís Theory of Evolution. Put simply, it states that only the best and strongest of a species survive, while the weaker members of a species die off due to natural causes, such as being hunted by predators.
This process ďcleansesĒ the gene pool of defective genes, allowing future generations to inherit the stronger genes and have a better chance of survival.
This is a slow process, simply because dumb people and animals tend to breed rapidly, even more rapidly than their more intelligent counterparts. With little else to occupy their minds, it is easy to turn to thoughts of sex, simply for entertainment.
Little in the way of morals impedes these thoughts, so the dumb people seek each other out, rather than forming lasting relationships with more intelligent people and with purposes beyond just sexual pleasure.
Currently, product liability lawyers and our government are interfering excessively with the process of natural selection. By mandating warning labels, many of the products and activities that would naturally work to eliminate these stupid people from the gene pool are prevented from doing their job.
Those warnings provide excessive protection for these lower forms of life, allowing them to continue living and breeding, filling the Earth with more stupid people.
Eliminating these warning labels would merely return things to how they should be. Stupid people would do what stupid people do bestÖ stupid things. While it would be unfortunate for the stupid people in question, this would then cause the aforementioned cleansing of the human gene pool over the next several generations.
The trick to putting this plan into operation is to eliminate the armies of product-liability lawyers, lobbyists and of course legislators who think it is their divine responsibility to protect people from themselves. No solution to this part of the problem has yet been proposed.
What to do with Stupid People
Since we canít just eliminate stupid people, or rather, allow natural selection to eliminate them, we must find more subtle ways of dealing with them. Avoidance is a good method, but the problem there is that stupid people are everywhere, making it very hard to avoid them.
The current political climate makes it impossible to force these people to identify themselves, perhaps by wearing some sort of tag with their IQ listed on it in bold numbers. But even if that were a possible option, it really wouldnít help, because there is no known CSQ (common sense quotient) or means of testing for it.
As it is really these people with a low CSQ that are the problem, such an identifier would be necessary so that we could avoid them.
Unfortunately, there is no outwardly visible sign of people with a low CSQ, so we canít just watch out for them and avoid them. The only way to find out if someone has a low CSQ is to spend enough time with them, that you can observe their actions and reactions, seeing times when common sense would dictate a particular course of action and noticing that they donít avoid it.
Once that happens, it is best to find something harmless for these people to do, in order to prevent them from causing further problems. Since it is still considered murder to eliminate them as a risk to society, we cannot use that as an alternate means of cleansing the gene pool. Rather, we must direct them towards activities that will keep them from causing problems for everyone else:
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Give them a bottle of ďexperimentalĒ shampoo and tell them to wash their hair, following the instruction on the bottle to the letterÖ lather, rinse, repeat.
Get them a job cleaning the bottom of swimming pools, but donít give them the normal tools, which allow them to clean the pool from the level of the deck around it.
Put them to work reviewing television programs.
Put them to work reviewing electronic games.
Send them on a jackalope hunt, to remove this dangerous pest.
There are many other similar activities which can be used in the same manner. Any thinking person can come up with a list of them, rather easily.
Always Assume the Worst
Considering the high number of stupid people we find in the world today, life can be extremely dangerous. One never knows when a stupid person might jump up right in front of them, doing something stupid that could cause them harm.
Itís bad enough when these people do things to hurt themselves, but all too often they get away scot-free, not even realizing that theyíve caused a problem. Itís the other people, normal intelligent ones with a high CSQ who end up suffering the consequences of their actions.
The only real solution to this problem, other than herding all the people with low CSQs into a large penned-in area and keeping them there, is to do what I taught my children to do, when I was teaching them to drive. That is, always assume that the other person is going to do something stupid.
That way, when they end up doing something stupid, youíre ready for it.
This simple philosophy has saved me from countless dangerous situations created by stupid people. I donít just apply it when Iím driving, but in all situations. I literally walk through life, watching to see what stupid things others are going to do.
Of course, part of the process here is using my superior brain power to not only think of the stupid things they might do (and Iíve got to say that some of these people can be brilliant in coming up with stupid things to do), but in coming up with my own response to their actions, should my supposition be proven true and I find that they truly are stupid people, doing stupid things.
Those of us who have seen the latest Sherlock Homes movies, with Robert Downey Jr. playing Sherlock, have seen this in action. In a number of cases, the great detective thinks through a pending conflict, foreseeing the actions of the stupid people and developing his responses.
Then, when the stupid people do what stupid people do, he is ready to counter their actions, sallying forth victoriously.
Of course, thatís a movie and you and I must deal with these things in real-life and real-time. Thatís a bit harder, as we donít have script writers to help us. Nevertheless, with a little practice, we can master this ability. Start with something simple, like driving; and then allow yourself to apply the method in other parts of your life.
Donít Let Yourself Become One of Them
The worst thing that can happen to any of us is to become one of them. I know thatís a scary thought, but if you spend enough time watching television or playing video games, it could happen. Even the smartest amongst us are capable of becoming zombies, if we allow ourselves to succumb to the ďentertainmentĒ of today, which is all intended to dumb us down.
The key to avoiding this is to use your brain. After all, it really was created to do more than just fill up the space between your ears. So exercise it. Force yourself to think. Find activities which require thinking and do them. What activities? Things like:
Learning to do something new
Practicing a new skill that requires thought and concentration, like shooting
Watching the opera
Listening to classical music
Making things with your hands
Speaking with foreigners, in another language
Again, there are many possibilities, limited by only your own imagination and curiosity. Let that curiosity loose and follow it where it might lead. The worst that could possibly happen is that you find out that you have already succumbed to becoming one of them, and end up hurt for doing something that you really shouldnít have tried doing.
Granted, the ideas Iíve mentioned there deal with the IQ and not the CSQ, but thatís alright. While there is not actual correlation between the two, the things Iíve mentioned as possible activities require more than just thought; they require action on your part.
Doing activities which require you to do something more than just think, while also requiring you to think, have a high probability of increasing both your IQ and your CSQ. Activities which just require thinking, such as purely academic pursuits, will not increase your CSQ, even if they do increase your IQ.
Avoid at all costs institutes of higher learning. They have been taken over by people who are severely lacking in CSQ. Thatís a direct result of the saying, ďThose who can, do; those who canít, teach.Ē Our institutes of higher learning are filled with people who canítÖ so they are teaching.
You canít learn common sense, from someone who doesnít have it. If you want to learn more on how to survive anything, this is just the thing.