From CGI's Morgan:

I felt a cold wind come into my space after I wrote that last posting. I know how quick information can make its way across the world like digital lightning. I tried to do the right thing and I nearly always get myself into trouble this way. It's that Quixote thing. I deeply feel the troubles of another soul in crisis. I have been in trouble. As I said in the posting, “there but for fortune goes you and I.” I myself have been slandered with no evidence to support it, or where the evidence was presented as something it was not, or completely fabricated. I've been around bad companions and I have misbehaved on purpose for the purpose of demonstration. I have never been in the kind of place Zen Gardner has been in but I can sympathize.

More important than what I just said and more important than what I said earlier... we don't know any specific details about Zen. We know he was engaged with these people but we don't know anything more... yet. For myself, until I do know, I will reserve my opinion and regardless, in the aftermath, I chose compassion above all other things. I am fair amazed that I find myself feeling what I am feeling these days. I always liked Zen Gardner. He said the right things in the right way, or I thought so. In more recent times he seemed to have gone insane and all of us get a touch of that now and again. I still can't figure out why he got behind the Flat Earth nonsense. However, that makes me think there are things going on behind the scenes that we don't know about. I have been getting approached in social situations where I am probed to see if I swing this way or that way. People show up in locations where I wouldn't expect to see this occur and yet it does. It seems to me that there is a concerted effort to seduce anyone and everyone into a state of false identification through some weakness or the fence being down in the surround sound of one's character. Those who seek to destroy us have some powerful weapons and if you are not sufficiently armored, you will be a victim. What is that line in The Bible? “Put on the whole armor of God.”

I try not to judge people for crimes of the flesh. It is going on everywhere these days it seems and they aren't even seen as crimes. Most crimes of this sort are crimes against yourself. It is so hard to be accurate and correct in one's summation of circumstances that they played no part in. We are all so quick to judgment. We forget how weak we are ourselves and how easily we could find ourselves in the same situation... or made to look like we are. Photoshop is the new reality. Oh how easily we are led by our intellects and our egos. Love the ineffable, that is your only salvation in these times. Love the almighty with all the force of your pitiable will. You have no will except for the will conferred on you. If you love the almighty that operates like a bellows. The love of God is a consuming fire. It will take you over entirely and sweep all opposition to it by the wayside. I am living proof that loving the divine will cover and redeem a multitude of errors. If you are still standing afterwards then... what is holding you up? What is holding you up?

I know they are coming after all of us, inasmuch as they are allowed to. My friends, if you have never taken anything away from what I have said on these pages, take this... nothing can touch you unless it is permitted. Everything... EVERYTHING is in the hands of the ineffable. You can only fall if you rely on yourself. 'know you not that you are weak and blind and helpless?'

I do not know what Zen is guilty of and that is my point. Until I do I will reserve my judgment. What that psychopathic Satanist David Berg (Tribe member) did is one thing. What others did is another. I know some wonderful Hare Krishna people and I know some serious nutjobs. Every case is different. Let us wait until we know and let us always go with fear and trembling that we ourselves might be next in line. I have met the almighty and if not, certainly a direct representative (same thing). What I came away with was awe and there was no room for anything else. I can see how people get mislead and identify themselves with the experience they are having. There is this unfortunate feature in the human psyche where some of us choose to believe that we are the thing we are in the company of. That is a serious error of judgment. It is one thing to host the ineffable. It is another thing to believe you are the ineffable. You are not and you never will be but... you can sit in the atmosphere of the light of the ineffable and how bad can that be?

I have never aspired to be anything but a servant. I am comfortable in that role. I like cooking for people and bringing them something to drink or... whatever I can do, that has always been what I enjoyed the most. When people like to make more out of me than is accurate in the relative valuation, I don't like that. I am not comfortable with that and NEVER will be. I have seen great masters as humble as dirt with glowing coronas around their head and... I am supposed to accept that I am on that level? It's not happening. After a fashion it is true that we become like that which we identify with but this is tricky territory.

Life is a condition of levels of deception. We convince ourselves according to certain fallacies of perception and exist in concert with our beliefs in them. It is very much like living in a dream. The dream is not real but we think it is. We dream that we are something we are not. It is some role that we play and the identity is like a suit of clothes. After a time we come to believe that we are the clothes we are wearing rather than the being beneath them. The being beneath is the son of God in whom the spirit of self knowing is awake and aware and that is the indwelling self that is known in its presence by the one hosting it. We are that, regardless of what we think we are. It is the process of thinking that creates the delusions in which we are confined. Delusions and illusions are the same as being in prison. This is why terms like 'liberation' are used to define the state of being awakened out of them. This is why those who arrive at that state experience being free, unlike their fellows who are not and it is the job of the free to liberate their fellows ...and in this world and in this life, there are those who liberate us and those who confine us. It is one of the fine arts of being to be able to tell the difference between these in terms of your associates, companions and the world at large.

It all comes down to what we allow ourselves to be occupied by and this is why our most critical job is to stand guard at the gateway of our mind. What occupies us is determined by the qualities of our desires. That determines the level of consciousness of what resides within us. It is all awareness and levels of awareness. The horned deer in rut is a level. The tantric master in euphoric union is another. There are far more deer in rut than there are tantric masters, the latter being one of the most elusive stations that there are. True Bhakti is a form of tantra that evades the complexities of nuance. The power of focused devotion bypasses all of the intricacies of knowledge necessary to perform at a particular level. Almost no one possesses both the knowledge and acumen required to walk the labyrinth but... you don't need to if you know someone who does. You leave the details to the one who guides you and you just walk the road.

I've been bouncing all around the place here with a destination in mind, whether I get there or not is debatable. There is no reason for me to even be discussing Zen Gardner and there are good reasons to evade the discussion altogether. It is one of the most difficult things to take a position on any person or subject when all the facts are not known. One only exposes their ignorance. I have entered into this fray for a specific purpose; I sense that there is more to the story than we are being told. This alleged friend of Zen's who turned on him as she did causes me to ponder the whole facade. Something else is going on here. There are wheels within wheels turning. Something doesn't smell right. It is beyond the borders of belief that Zen did not know what was going on. It could have been Stockholm Syndrome that kept him there or any number of compelling reasons. I don't pretend to know anything about it. My point is that we need to be watchful about things that come to our attention. What is really going on? This is what I ask myself. I cannot shake the thought that there are forces at work here that are off camera. I am neither pro nor con in any sense about this affair and the realities of The Children of God is a horrific tale of some of the worst abuses going these days.

One of the oddest features of this whole mess is the tight relationship between David Icke and Zen Gardner and the queasy and querulous reaction from the Icke camp about his relationship with Zen. Mr Apocalypse is having a field day of late and it is about to double down exponentially. I really hope the reader will use their objective reasoning to consider the many implications going on here; not the least of which is David Icke's relationship with Jimmy Saville and his claims of being a pedophile exposer. Something is going on behind the woodwork. I don't know what it is but it is.