I'm not the only one to say this. Nor am I the first. But it's increasingly obvious as this dog-and-pony show, that is the means by which we elect our next president, pre-empts prime-time baseball, pre-season NFL games, reality tv, and all the rest of those entertainments so necessary to divert us from the bombings and beheadings of people halfway around the world, whom we never knew.

Several people have independently reached the same conclusion about Trump's handlers. They work by constantly reinforcing his ego, by applauding his most bizarre and outlandish ideas (the Wall, for example) and crafting speeches that are at least as much about The Donald as about the issues.

I'm a political novice, but I could bring Trump to victory in November. Here's how:

Tie his wrists together with about 20 inches of slack, so he could not raise them like a High Priest blessing his flock.

Teach him to address a crowd by fixing on one person at a time in the audience, moving over the crowd to find another individual every few minutes. Because Trump is much more rational and effective in one-on-one situations.

Train him via electroshock to replace the word"I" with "we."

Put him on a regimen of diet and exercise to trim off body fat, so he no longer looks like an overgrown baby--classic example of how the body mimics the psyche.

But, before all that, I'd take him out into Death Valley, just us two, with enough firewood to last the night, blankets for the chill, some trail mix, bottled water, a boombox, and enough laboratory grade LSD 25 to make a plowhorse stand on two legs and whinny out Puccini arias.

Play soothing ambient & when the inevitable freaky visions came, hand him a rock called Ego, and convince him the demons would be powerless if he would only toss the rock away. Play "Structures from Silence" (Steve Roach) while he wept over his discarded rock. Stay with him til he began to laugh at his own foolishness.

"TRUMP ON SECRET RETREAT WITH ADVISORS" would cover the trip plus a few days to re-integrate.

And give the Nation and the world a President worthy of its people.