.

21. Life is half pain and half pleasure (complaining and suffering are optional). If you can’t enjoy the pain, half your life will be sorrow.

22. Life was what it was; life is what it is; life will be what it will be. There is no value in regretting what was, regretting what is, or being anxious, worried or afraid about what isn’t (the future). Regret, anxiety, worry and fear are debilitating mental energies that vex the mind and make living a plague that kills joy, peace, happiness and your last bottle of vodka.

23. What does an Independent-Self-Aware-Energy-Intelligence (infinitesimally and infinitely we are that) want to avoid more than anything else (even at the price of its very existence)? Tedium, boredom and bad hair days!

24. If the quest of life is not joy, peace, happiness and pleasure then perhaps it is sorrow, fear, sadness and pain (either will do during a boredom emergency).

25. Opportunity to learn and expand, to test oneself, adventure into the unknown, mystery, suspense, excitement, chance, fortune, luck, gamble, challenge, risk, hazard and danger, these are the spices-of-life that make life and existence worth living, and without them, no Independent-Self-Self-Aware-Energy-Intelligence would want to continue to live, unless there’s free chocolate.

26. What is YOUR purpose in life? If you don’t choose one you’ll fulfill it anyway but won’t realize it until you’re in diapers again in an old folks home wishing you would die before you poop again.

27. What is THE purpose of life? There are over a thousand philosophical, metaphysical, New Age and theological choices each claiming to be the one and only true circus. You can choose any clown outfit that appeals to you.

28. Faith, belief, hope and feelings are tools to gain “truth” (to gain knowledge, understanding and wisdom) and are NOT substitutes for “truth” (knowledge, understanding and wisdom). Believe all things. Hold fast to that which proves true until it doesn’t and then start over. That should keep you busy.

29. If you want to enjoy life, go along to get along unless it’s wrong. How do you know something is wrong for you? It makes you feel bad. When you say, or don’t say, or do, or don’t do, something, and it makes you feel bad, that’s a sure sign you’re right–it’s wrong. In this you can rust your feelings. Everyone else pays cash.

30. The irrational, illogical and volatile zit-fit-nutty-side of human nature is legendary throughout the universe, and there is not a chance in this wacky world that man’s animal nature is going change while the earth’s nature is dog eat dog where’s the mustard.

31. Life likes to mess with your expectations. It may deny you your needs, wants and cherished desires. If you set your heart unequivocally on getting something, beware, there’s a chance that your joy, peace and happiness will get sucker punched. When that happens, get up, brush yourself off and punch back harder. You never lose if you never quit (if you do quit, you can join Losers Anonymous and talk about it a lot).

32. Be good company. Be a positive. Don’t be a negative light in people’s lives? Be such an awesome person that people will miss you if you die. Don’t give people cause to torch your house in celebration of, “It couldn’t of happened to a nicer guy. Thank GOD he’s gone.”

33. If you WERE dead, would people’s lives be more joyful? Do family and friends run when they see you coming? When you enter a room does everyone have to go to the bathroom suddenly, and they never come back? If so, you have either become an unthankful, ungrateful never satisfied sourpuss complaining needy crybaby or a backstabbing prideful, vain, self-aggrandizing selfish narcistic ego-maniac who thinks people were invented to serve and please you. If people run when they see you coming, it’s not a marathon.

34. You will learn quickly that most humans are nuts, and life is a fruitcake. Try not to be the biggest nut in the cake, but if you are, consider running for President, or at least be a lawyer.

35. Some people have difficult lives, impossible lives (diseased, injured, disabled, handicapped, unjustly accused, condemned and imprisoned, while others live in horrific circumstances) and those folks have good reasons to complain and accuse life of being unfair (though most do not). Be kind to everyone all the time even if it kills them.

36. Nature does what it does perfectly (per-effect–cause and effect). Humans are part of nature. They are not separate from nature. If a human pollutes a lake, that person is a uncaring human polluting a lake, and if a human kills and rapes, that’s a killing, raping human. There are naturally wild human-animals living among us, and what they do IS their nature and is part of nature. Most people control the worst part of their wild-animal-human-nature. BEWARE! There really are humans out to get you. That’s why squirt guns and running-shoes were invented.

37. It’s all in your mind this game of life; it’s all in your head, worry and strife. That which is real and that which is true, is just a potpourri of your mental-stew. It’s all in your mind, deep in your head, the living and dying the pain and the dread. You think it; you are it, that’s what you be; creatively thinking reality. Consciousness playing with dark and with light, that’s what you are and that is your life.

38. You may think your thoughts stay in your head, but they don’t Thoughts vibrate in you and around you and go out from you and they affect everything near you, especially your face. Thoughts are like a tuning fork. The best tunes are the ones that build instead of destroy; lift instead of cast down, encourage instead of depress. Thoughts fuel and ignite feelings and emotions. And if you think in pictures (imagination) be careful during sex.

39. There’s nothing wrong with getting irritated, upset, angry, violent or throwing a raging hissy-fit that a good heart-attack can’t cure in a micro-second.

40. Worry, fret and stress are signs you are a self-abusing control freak whose imagined fears could trigger the bullet you are trying to dodge.

41. If you order a Smoothie Chocolate Carmel Double Foam Shaved Iced Latte and get a Triple Onion Garlic Espresso instead, and you go insultingly ballistic, pop your cork and throw things, you obviously don’t like espressos. But even better, you’ve just exhibited and paraded your uncontrolled mind and emotions for everyone to see and laugh at (entertainment like that is priceless).

42. Everyday people prove that human intelligence is an oxymoron.

43. If you’re not at peace with what you have, you won’t be at peace with what you get.

44. If you want someone to love you for the emotionally explosive self-centered opinionated person you are, look in the yellow pages under “Stupid People”, or go home where they may still love for approximately three days.

45. If you’ve bought a new bicycle and still can’t get a date, try working harder to be even more successful.

46. If you accept life for what it is and don’t complain about what it isn’t, people will think you’re not human. Consider it a compliment.

47. If you don’t like the government screwing with you, maybe you don’t have a sense of humor.

48. If you think your life should be a never ending snack bar of fun you’re either two years old or your thinker needs fixin’.

49. Thinking makes real and thinking makes you, you think it, you feel it, then you do. You take what is and give it a name; you judge what is with a biased brain. It’s virtuous or vile; it’s good or it’s bad, perhaps your beliefs are driving you mad. Your angst, your fear, your pain and dread, surely you know it’s all in your head. Life is just life, unless you believe, it is what it ain’t and then you’re deceived. The pain you inflict by judging another is why you’re unloved except by your mother.

50. I had my heart set on it. My mind said this way must be. Then faster than an eagle life took it away from me. I learned by my experiences, gained understanding to know, life will break the strongest heart of a mind that is set in stone. I now put my heart into it, but on it my heart’s not set, and my mind like the eagle soars free and without regret.

: THINGS I TELL MY KIDS

: HUMANS ARE NUTS
: .
:
: .
: WHEN NOT TOO BUSY BEING CRYBABIES

: Tom Braun Senior

: This book is NOT for you if you are one of the 6.7% of the
: U.S. adult population suffering from clinical depression or
: some other mental illnesses (like being human).

: This book IS for you if you have not been certified nuts by
: the American Psychiatric Association or, if you are nuts
: and just haven’t gone in to get your certificate.

: This book reveals why the earth is nuts, why you are nuts
: (because the earth is nuts) and how to de-nut yourself if
: you are not too nuts to realize you are also a crybaby.

: MOST PEOPLE LIVE A LIE

: 97% are too busy living their opinions and beliefs to examine
: them;

: 35% are afraid to examine them;

: 26% don’t care if their opinions and beliefs are true or not;

: 99% think they know the truth,

: and the 1% who actually have the proof are hunted down and
: killed.

: Without humans
: this planet would suck.

: COPYRIGHT JULY 2016
: Wisdom Digest Publishing
: Thomas Trost Braun Senior

: ALL COMMERCIAL RIGHTS RESERVED

: PRINTED IN THE USA

: Thoughts are numbered so you can circle the ones that make you
: mad and drive you nuts so you can re-read them again and
: again and again and again and again.

: THINGS I TELL MY KIDS
: IN PRECISE RANDOM ORDER

: 1. During challenging experiences you might think like life
: was designed to personally torment and torture you, but it
: wasn’t. It was designed to torment and torture everyone,
: but not everyone boobs about it.

: 2. Irrespective of media lies, Hollywood entertainment, public
: schools and government propaganda, life does not exist to
: please you, and if you wonder, “Whose job is it?” you’re
: too far gone nuts to help, so keep taking your
: pharmaceuticals.

: 3. Life is pain. Accept it; deal with it; get over it; move on
: and build a life (and quit being such a crybaby).

: 4. Expect the best be at peace with the rest.

: 5. Earth is a death world. Death fuels life. You can’t live if
: you don’t kill. If you have money, you can get someone to
: pluck the gizzards out of murdered chickens for you and you
: can just buy chicken corpses at a grocery store. If fruits
: and vegetable are your diet (what we eat is not called
: DIE-IT for nothing) someone will pluck and chuck them for
: you so you can skin, dice and slice and boil them alive.
: Yes, the living kill the living and eat them, and from
: rotting leftovers grows new life. Mother-earth kills her
: offspring. We call it Mother’s Nature and she will kill you
: with heat, cold, wind, fire, famine, drought, earthquakes,
: tsunami, volcanoes, tornadoes and hurricanes or with her
: ravenous tear you apart and spit out your bones animal
: kingdom, or she’ll bug you to death literally or she will
: just let her micro-organisms feed at the human-body buffet
: until you’re dead. Welcome to your warm and fuzzy
: mother-earth home (mommy is a mass-serial-killer and she
: eats her babies). Life is a picnic, and you are the main
: course.

: 6. When life kicks your butt instead of kissing it and you go
: nuts and cry about it, you’re human, and that’s not a
: compliment.

: 7. If you spell the word “human” backwards it spells, “humans
: are nuts” (that’s all the proof you need).

: 8. To earth your bound, your journey to commence. Take with
: you this dictum sound into a world of recompense: How you
: view the world, is your world.

: 9. Your first breath was a battle-cry, and your last breath
: will be a sigh, and in-between is mystery, wonder and magic
: as you spin life’s realities into your own. So mount up,
: rise to the challenge, engage the adventure for all you are
: worth, for in old-age and with fond reflection you will
: realize it was the struggle, the fight and the battle that
: made life worth living. Yet how serene and peaceful you
: will be if you engaged the wrath of life with a cheerful
: heart and vanquished your foes with a smile, a chuckle and
: a mighty laugh because you now know, life’s insanity was
: but your own.

: 10. Did your thoughts not help to make the person that is you?
: Of the thoughts you could have thought who else but you did
: choose? Like a seed your every thought produces fruit in
: kind. Either you are victim of or master of your mind.

: 11. Humans are the nuts in the fruitcake that is life, and
: Earth is the perfect nut orchard that spawns exactly what a
: nut orchard should, a frustrated variety of human nuts that
: would bedevil the God that didn’t create them if she hadn’t
: escaped the planet and disconnected her internet.

: 12. How did you get here? You were born on this spinning rock
: because two people you did not know had unprotected sex
: without your permission. “Happy Birthday.”

: 13. You were born with a body that leaks. It’s mostly liquid
: and has more holes in it than a sponge. You will spend your
: whole life trying to keep it from oozing to death and
: finally lose.

: 14. You came with a male or female body (or a moustache in the
: wrong place). If you like the sex you got, and like the sex
: you’re not, that’s how you roll. Others roll different.
: That’s life.

: 15. Your body may not be real healthy, athletic or shapely.
: Don’t worry about it. You can always join the circus.

: 16. You came with personality quirks, disposition, temperament
: and tendencies. You may not like what you came with. If no
: one likes what you came with, they made a T-shirt for you:
: Mean People Suck.

: 17. You were born with unique abilities, like bad breath and
: gas. They are your weapons. Learn to use them. They may be
: the only super-powers you ever have.

: 18. You were born into a family, ethnic group, culture,
: society, government and nation, and if you think that’s
: stupid, wait until you meet your in-laws.

: 19. Nothing in life is negative or positive unless you think
: so, and then it is so....for you.

: 20. Life is a bunch of projects, things to do until dead, an
: endless potpourri of hustle and hurry, a do this, no, do
: that, instead. I hardly and barely fathom the meaning of
: this life. It’s an endless array of prodigious forays, a
: nettling vexation of strife. And when a long day is over,
: after all of my pain, I go to bed tired, have lost all my
: fire then wake up and do it again. I want breakfast, lunch
: and dinner, and something between to do, then my life is
: fulfilled and I’ll be chubby and still in a plot just over
: from you.

: 210 more to follow ???
: nem.