THINGS I TELL MY KIDS
HUMANS ARE NUTS
WHEN NOT TOO BUSY BEING CRYBABIES
Tom Braun Senior
This book is NOT for you if you are one of the 6.7% of the U.S. adult population suffering from clinical depression or some other mental illnesses (like being human).
This book IS for you if you have not been certified nuts by the American Psychiatric Association or, if you are nuts and just havenít gone in to get your certificate.
This book reveals why the earth is nuts, why you are nuts (because the earth is nuts) and how to de-nut yourself if you are not too nuts to realize you are also a crybaby.
MOST PEOPLE LIVE A LIE
97% are too busy living their opinions and beliefs to examine them;
35% are afraid to examine them;
26% donít care if their opinions and beliefs are true or not;
99% think they know the truth,
and the 1% who actually have the proof are hunted down and killed.
this planet would suck.
COPYRIGHT JULY 2016
Wisdom Digest Publishing
Thomas Trost Braun Senior
ALL COMMERCIAL RIGHTS RESERVED
PRINTED IN THE USA
Thoughts are numbered so you can circle the ones that make you mad and drive you nuts so you can re-read them again and again and again and again and again.
THINGS I TELL MY KIDS
IN PRECISE RANDOM ORDER
1. During challenging experiences you might think like life was designed to personally torment and torture you, but it wasnít. It was designed to torment and torture everyone, but not everyone boobs about it.
2. Irrespective of media lies, Hollywood entertainment, public schools and government propaganda, life does not exist to please you, and if you wonder, ďWhose job is it?Ē youíre too far gone nuts to help, so keep taking your pharmaceuticals.
3. Life is pain. Accept it; deal with it; get over it; move on and build a life (and quit being such a crybaby).
4. Expect the best be at peace with the rest.
5. Earth is a death world. Death fuels life. You canít live if you donít kill. If you have money, you can get someone to pluck the gizzards out of murdered chickens for you and you can just buy chicken corpses at a grocery store. If fruits and vegetable are your diet (what we eat is not called DIE-IT for nothing) someone will pluck and chuck them for you so you can skin, dice and slice and boil them alive. Yes, the living kill the living and eat them, and from rotting leftovers grows new life. Mother-earth kills her offspring. We call it Motherís Nature and she will kill you with heat, cold, wind, fire, famine, drought, earthquakes, tsunami, volcanoes, tornadoes and hurricanes or with her ravenous tear you apart and spit out your bones animal kingdom, or sheíll bug you to death literally or she will just let her micro-organisms feed at the human-body buffet until youíre dead. Welcome to your warm and fuzzy mother-earth home (mommy is a mass-serial-killer and she eats her babies). Life is a picnic, and you are the main course.
6. When life kicks your butt instead of kissing it and you go nuts and cry about it, youíre human, and thatís not a compliment.
7. If you spell the word ďhumanĒ backwards it spells, ďhumans are nutsĒ (thatís all the proof you need).
8. To earth your bound, your journey to commence. Take with you this dictum sound into a world of recompense: How you view the world, is your world.
9. Your first breath was a battle-cry, and your last breath will be a sigh, and in-between is mystery, wonder and magic as you spin lifeís realities into your own. So mount up, rise to the challenge, engage the adventure for all you are worth, for in old-age and with fond reflection you will realize it was the struggle, the fight and the battle that made life worth living. Yet how serene and peaceful you will be if you engaged the wrath of life with a cheerful heart and vanquished your foes with a smile, a chuckle and a mighty laugh because you now know, lifeís insanity was but your own.
10. Did your thoughts not help to make the person that is you? Of the thoughts you could have thought who else but you did choose? Like a seed your every thought produces fruit in kind. Either you are victim of or master of your mind.
11. Humans are the nuts in the fruitcake that is life, and Earth is the perfect nut orchard that spawns exactly what a nut orchard should, a frustrated variety of human nuts that would bedevil the God that didnít create them if she hadnít escaped the planet and disconnected her internet.
12. How did you get here? You were born on this spinning rock because two people you did not know had unprotected sex without your permission. ďHappy Birthday.Ē
13. You were born with a body that leaks. Itís mostly liquid and has more holes in it than a sponge. You will spend your whole life trying to keep it from oozing to death and finally lose.
14. You came with a male or female body (or a moustache in the wrong place). If you like the sex you got, and like the sex youíre not, thatís how you roll. Others roll different. Thatís life.
15. Your body may not be real healthy, athletic or shapely. Donít worry about it. You can always join the circus.
16. You came with personality quirks, disposition, temperament and tendencies. You may not like what you came with. If no one likes what you came with, they made a T-shirt for you: Mean People Suck.
17. You were born with unique abilities, like bad breath and gas. They are your weapons. Learn to use them. They may be the only super-powers you ever have.
18. You were born into a family, ethnic group, culture, society, government and nation, and if you think thatís stupid, wait until you meet your in-laws.
19. Nothing in life is negative or positive unless you think so, and then it is so....for you.
20. Life is a bunch of projects, things to do until dead, an endless potpourri of hustle and hurry, a do this, no, do that, instead. I hardly and barely fathom the meaning of this life. Itís an endless array of prodigious forays, a nettling vexation of strife. And when a long day is over, after all of my pain, I go to bed tired, have lost all my fire then wake up and do it again. I want breakfast, lunch and dinner, and something between to do, then my life is fulfilled and Iíll be chubby and still in a plot just over from you.
210 more to follow ???