From Reader Kyle:

Suffice it to say, this man needs some serious help. This is from a site that specializes in the weird and freaky. I could not find any other sites that had an origin so take this with a grain of 'sand'. However, since it is Friday and we usually do humor on Friday (HMN = Humor Mill News) all kinds of 'quips' come to mind. Such as, "Mummy Loves you," "Mum's the word," "He probably wouldn’t have been caught if he had only kept it under wraps," and "Who's your Mummy?"

Snip

A security guard of the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History was arrested this morning, for allegedly having sex with one of the mummies of the Egyptian exhibition.

44-year old James Monroe, has worked as a night watchman for the reputed museum for the last nine years, and was almost considered a model employee until his divorce two years ago.

According to his colleagues, he suddenly became very depressed and short-tempered, and began behaving rather strangely. On two occasions, his superior even noticed that one of the mummies seemed to have been damaged during his watch, leading to the installation of some new video cameras.

The images captured by these cameras were far more disturbing than what his boss expected.

The cameras caught Mr. Monroe on Monday evening, opening the glass display case protecting the 2500-year old Egyptian mummy, lying down on top of it and sexually aggressing it. The Smithsonian fired the watchman and brought the images to the police, filing charges against their former employee for indecent exposure and destruction of property.

“The security video that the Smithsonian has provided us is really disgusting,” says D.C Police Chief, Cathy Lynn Lanier. “I understand that the mummy is not really a victim of sex crimes, but his behavior certainly caused some damages to the property of the Smithsonian,therefore, his behavior is criminal. And let’s be honest, I think he really needs help.”