The following caught my attention somewhere, from a rag I never read (don't read any) found it quite funny, although it's sadly true, so just passing it along...no toilet paper needed.

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Never have so many brain cells been sacrificed on the altar of toilet paper fever.

The human race is in grave ­danger. Thousands of people are showing severe symptoms already and there is no known cure.

No, not coronavirus, but sheer bloody stupidity.

Never have so many brain cells been sacrificed on the altar of toilet paper fever. Come on people, what is that about?

Why, when you’re warned you may get a (for most folk, mild) respiratory tract infection do you instantly think what you really need in your life is industrial ­supplies of bog roll?

On what planet does that even begin to make sense? (Okay, possibly Uranus). It’s not as if our sexy new version of flu gives you a runny nose. It’s mainly a dry cough and fever.

The only reason you may need that much Andrex is because you’ve stockpiled baked beans and tinned prunes too. Which is probably highly likely.

A vaccine for Covid-19 is already being tested and, like every other flu before it, we will soon have this particular lurgy under control. But, alas, being a sheep-minded moron is terminal.

Those efficient German types actually have a word for panic buying – hamsterkauf. It says what it does on the tin (probably tomatoes because they’re being stockpiled too). Hamsters hoard stuff in their cheeks. They also have very small brains. Go figure.

On International Women’s Day footage of females fighting over loo rolls in an Australian supermarket went viral.

Each of them had trolleys full of the stuff. More than they’ll ever need in a month of Sundays, let alone the one or two weeks we’re all supposed to be now sofa surfing in front of Netflix.

Curiously not one of them had any food. Which means they’ll starve to death surrounded by a fortress of pulped trees and cardboard tubes.

Cont;

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/dawn-neesom-the-human-race-21669145

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Fox.