6 PAGE INTRODUCTION, PREFACE, FORWARD
AND WHAT THIS BOOK IS ABOUT.

LIFE IS HARD; BE KIND.
Consider not sharing this book or information
while someone is going through heartbreaking experiences or other emotional trauma;
they might attack you or kill you. Even normally nuts humans not experiencing trauma might attack you.
BE KIND AND PLEASANT.

I wrote this book for my kids, but I guess other kids can read it too.

HUMANS ARE NUTS.

AFTER READING THIS BOOK YOU WON’T BE SHOCKED

TO DISCOVER THAT EVERYONE’S NUTS BUT YOU.

Unhappy humans have but one issue.
They have an issue with life doing life its way.
They want life to do life their way. Silly humans.

THIS BOOK CONTAINS ALL THE WISDOM OF THE AGES THAT
YOU’LL EVER NEED TO ENJOY ALL THAT IS LIFE.

IF YOU RESEARCH AND STUDY
EVERY ENLIGHTENED TEACHING,
EVERY WISDOM WRITING,
ALL EXCEPTIONAL LIFE CHANGING KNOWLEDGE,
YOU DON’T NEED THIS BOOK,
UNTIL THEN,
HERE’S THIS BOOK.

I don’t expect you to agree with everything in this book, after all, most people call their feelings, hopes, beliefs and faith, truth. They don’t know that feelings, hopes, beliefs and faith are tools to discover truth, not substitutes for truth. Most humans don’t care. When I run into someone who rests on belief or faith, I walk away mumbling how nuts they are but then I remember how indoctrinated I was, and they still are, all because humans are nuts.

★★★★★★

WHAT PEOPLE NEVER SAID ABOUT THIS BOOK
A TWELVE STAR REVIEW

★★★★★★

★This book is a game-changer, life-changer; a mental plague; a
★is like a donkey getting hit with a two-by-four to get its attention;
★is the universe’s most honest meanest tough-love-self-help book ever written;
★ is a ride through your mental hell. No snowflake has survived;
★ is like rubbing alcohol into a cut: painful, hurts a lot, and still you’ll die nuts;
★ insults human intelligence, if it’s discovered;
★ should be banned...or some other deodorant should be used;
★ lies. It’s not little. It’s eight and a half by eleven inches;
★ made me realize I was wrong. It’s not just my mother-in-law whose nuts;
★ would be funny if it wasn’t true, so it’s funny;
★is humorous, like when someone sneezes snot on your birthday cake;
★exposes facts that should never be revealed until after you’re dead;
★makes torture a pleasant alternative;
★is like doing open-heart brain surgery with a bowling ball;
★awakens the reader to the wackiness of human thinking and leaves them
mind-boggled that the universe was so inconsiderate as to create humans;
★won’t change you, but makes it possible for you to enjoy being a nut.
★And finally, at the low odds that you’re only slightly nuts, this book finishes the job.

A THREE QUESTION TEST THAT WILL PROVE YOU’RE SO NUTS
THAT THERE’S NO WAY THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU

1. ARE YOU PLEASANT COMPANY?

No matter what unpleasant things happen, are you always pleasant?

If you answered, “YES,”

then you have conquered your mind and emotions, or are sane or dead.

If you answered, “NO,”

that means you are up when life goes your way, and down when life doesn’t, which means you’re a yo-yo.

2. DO YOU WHINE AND COMPLAIN when you do not get your way?

If you answered, “NO,” you are sane or took your medication.

If you answered, “YES,” you’re a Crybaby.

3. ARE YOU IRRATIONAL? Do you do things knowing they are harmful?

If you answered, “NO,” you are sane, which means you are obviously not human.

If you answered, “YES,” well then, that’s the very definition of nuts, which means... you’re nuts.

You should know by now that this book is not kind,
is not nice and is not merciful to human insanity.
So
if you can feel insulted, reviled and abused,
this book was written just for you,
AND
if you continue reading it, you might be nuts.

“God” likes jokes, made humans,
hasn’t rested or stopped laughing since.

THE GOAL IS NOT TO SUFFER LIFE, BUT TO ENJOY LIFE.
THE GOAL IS TO BE SO PLEASANT, HAPPY AND JOYFUL
THAT EVEN GOD CAN STAND BEING AROUND YOU.

YOU GOT SCREWED WHEN YOU ENTERED THIS WORLD.
Some humans got so screwed they’re the nuts other screws get screwed into, however, this book may unscrew you...don’t count on it.

If you are a programmed, brainwashed and indoctrinated snowflake, or are mentally and emotionally constipated and too full of yourself or take yourself and life too seriously, and are looking for a book so you can feel insulted and offended so you can rant and rave about how much you are suffering, this book is your huckleberry.

IF YOU GET UNPLEASANT WHEN
LIFE DOESN’T GO THE WAY YOU WANT OR
WHEN IT DOESN’T MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS,
YOU’RE NOT JUST NUTS, YOU’RE MAD AS A HATTER