(Thanks, l. :)

Reader l. writes:

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Hi Hobie....

This is how it went down. The three military captors led the woman prisoner, raving and ranting, down the hall. She wore an orange jump suit and was handcuffed. 'Clinton' was stenciled across the back in black capital letters.

"Get your filthy @%$&* hands off me!" She screeched.

Military man #1 said, "Boy, they're right about her, she's got a mouth on her, alright."

"You expected any less?" #3 military man replied coldly.

The day had finally come. Many people waited decades to see this, many waited less time but they had waited and waited for this criminal skater to finally be arrested. Perhaps many were in their graves even, still waiting.

They tightened their grip on her. "You stupid, &*$@$@, I keep telling you, %@#holes, I'm NOT HILLARY!!!" She pulled and jerked in their grip.

"Watch your mouth, we're warning you. You don't expect anyone to actually believe you, do you?" Military man #2 asked, wrestling her into a chair.

"You idiots!! Retards!! I &%*#@$g told you, I am not Hillary!!" She screamed, her eyes bulging and glaring, one slightly off center.

"Oh, it's you alright, Mrs. Clinton, and you'd better take it easy, you're not well, you know, and you'll have to stand trial, the public demands it." # 3 said.

"FOOLS! I am not her, I swear it,....I'm her DOUBLE! You &^%$#$% have got the wrong person!!" The shriek reached a peak and all three military men winced and looked at one another.

"A double?" Nearly all three men asked at once, doubt etching their faces."No, said #1, they don't make mistakes like that....they told us upstairs that you'd try saying that to us, nice try." He turned to the others. "She's been ranting this ever since the flag officers arrested her."

The prisoner's face turned red then almost purple. The most foul language erupted and she spit at them. "Take a DNA sample, you ^%$#$%g idiots! You'll see!"

#2 leaned up against the wall. "Now, you see, right there, your foul mouth and temper gives you away. You're Hillary alright."

"No I'm not!" she screamed. "You butt face, I've been Hillary for so long I act and talk like her in private! It's habit! I'm one way for the public and this way for the private! You imbeciles!"

"Oh yeah?" said #1, drawn in, "What about your eye? Your illness causes your eye to go off another way like it did a minute ago, because of your Parkinsons. We watched that doctor on You Tube."

She laughed, a horrible, maniacal sound. #1 couldn't watch it, he looked away. "I was born with a slight lazy eye. I've always had it. Hillary never had an eye like that! My real name is Bertha Bingleheimer. And, Hillary isn't really sick at all, you numbskull."

#1 stared at her."Now wait a minute here....you ARE Hillary." He turned to #3 and #2. "Look at her...she's got blue eyes, and she has that little bump on her nose and see the slight double chin and the wrinkles in the neck, and that mole....she's got that mole...like those videos show on You Tube. It's Hillary, alright."

"Shut up!" #3 said, "And you too, Clinton, just shut up."

The prisoner laughed again. "I always looked just like Hillary. A little plastic surgery creating the mole and a few other little adjustments here and there to make me look older, and all I had to do was gain some weight. I've been Hillary for some time now." she cackled.

"That's a lie!" #2 shouted at her. "We saw you go down on 9/11 this year! It was all over the news. You got sick and went down."

Her laughter got louder. "That was all a ruse! Smoke and mirrors, you neanderthal! Smoke and mirrors!" BBBWWWAAAHAHA! And, you know what else? Obama isn't Obama either. Cheney isn't Cheney.....the Bushes aren't Bushes!! They're all doubles."

"You!"....#2 made for her but was restrained by #3, who said, "Stop listening to her. She's insane."

#1 edged closer to her. "How do you know Cheney isn't Cheney?"

" All us doubles know one another...Cheney double is Robert Farface. I know, because he is my fiance." She said, smugly, then her eyes darkened. "I told you, if you don't believe me, TAKE MY DNA, RIGHT NOW! I'M NOT HILLARY,!" She began screaming again.

"That might take too long." #3 said. "Anyway, you're a serial liar, everybody knows it."

"You better listen to me, you peon, you got the wrong girl and you'll go to the %#$%@^@ brig along with the others for this!!" Her face was turning purple with rage again.

The military men looked at one another. Then #1 asked, "Okay, then if you are a double, as you claim, where is the real Hillary?"

"How the hell would I know? I'm being paid millions to do this, not keep tabs on Hillary....peabrain!"

#3 said, "I think she KNOWS where Hillary is,...that is, if she is her double. And by the way, if Obama and Cheney and the Bushes are all doubles, where are they all at? You'd better tell us or else we'll just let you rot in here and take all the blame."

"Do you promise to take my DNA if I tell you? "I want it in writing." she demanded.

#2 said, "Wait here, I'm going to go upstairs and ask the chief."

A group of military men, FBI, CIA, DHS, DOJ, ATF, and other intelligence people from ten other intel agencies, approached the woman in the orange jumpsuit,and they were followed by old Bush in a wheelchair who was muttering, "what does she mean, they're all doubles....I'm not a double, by God!"

They handed her a written agreement to take her DNA. "Alright, Hillary, or Bertha, or whatever your name is......TALK! Where are they?" Asked one of the FBI men.

She read the agreement then looked up at them. "Why, they're gone....all gone,...flew the coop! You don't think they were going to hang around when the shtf, do you? They've all purchased land in countries that don't have extradition and you can't touch them. Those kind NEVER get caught. They skated while you watched the stupid lying media hype everything up in the mid east...BBWAAHAHAHA! Now take my DNA, fools.

Old Bush turned purple...."they can't do this to me! I'm not a double! I'm real,..I'm....." He looked up and they were all looking at him with revenge in their eyes.

Fade out to Twilight Zone music.

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