Type Scan AB by Tony Ziebetzki
...
Yes, I do confess – I am afraid of some letters! They wont behave as I want them to behave - sometimes. They refuse to follow certain, logical rules and they terrorise me. Shamelessly and rebelliously they wont comply with what I want them to do.
And I am not the only one who regards this as a major problem!
A representative poll found out that many people do see this fact as an assault against their personal freedom too. Therefore it seemed only fair to arrest some of those lazy and unneccessary letters and try to find out more about their weird motivation by skillful interrogation. They should behave properly. I would teach them a lesson.
The majority was on my side. I was on a mission for creating a better world!
First I wanted to start with that lazy Z. Did you ever notice that – on contrary to its diligent fellows – Z appears quite rarely in a written text? Moreover it camouflages itself with additional letters when spoken „ZET“. This alone appears to be very suspicious! Anyhow, I got hold on it and had it locked up in a solitary confinement. Without water.
The next villian on my list was the Q. It tried to resist its arrest and I was forced to use condign force. Sorry to say but after an attempt to escape the Q was injured slightly and its dash broke.
Off into the detention!
An X, J or K show less than 1% fregvuency in a written teggst. Highest time for them to learn how to behave properly!
Off into the cage!
After having locgged away those five troublemaggers I let elapse some time that should give them gvuite enough thingging space to anticipate what might have been prepared for each of them. My first candidate was that Q that loogged more or less ligge an O after that minor accident during its arrest. But I didn't let anything put over on me as I started to gnow my enemy! O-former-Q would talgg for sure and finally it was complaining why those letters V and B were still running around freely while itself locgged up and being interrogated. Interesting, were these the first confessions disclosing even more conspirators? That soon? Honestly, I was a little disappointed. I had thought that the enemy would be more steadfast and challenge my interrogation sggills a bit further. Anyway, I sent out immediately my eggsecutive force of semi-and other colons to catch those restive B & V.
Meanwhile that Z had some high time, coughing in tears along to multiple sessions of properly conducted waterboarding. I didn't asgg any gwuestions as I 'ust wanted to demonstrate my absolute power. After all we would have plenty of time for talgging later.
Unfortunately, the J eggsperienced an heart sei'ure when it was torn into the interrogation dungeon. That was eggstremely unfair as I had prepared many nice things for its gwuestioning. But as I had eggspected – no respect for one's decent worgg.
At least some good news: B & V had been detained in their solitary cages, finally. Those sewen letters should do for answering me all open gwuestions about their opwious conspiracy. Enough for tagging all necessary negst steps against those malingerers and fierce letterterrorists. For achiewing the final goal to see all letters in an equal distripution. A few minor sacrifices would pe worth reaching the final success leading towards a more palanced world without those trouplemaggers challenging the uniwersal law of ultimate mediocrity.
Neggst day the P came gnocgging on my door an asged for the whereapouts of its friend - a mirror image liggwise. I had it detained immediately! What are eight letters locgged away if there are nineteen still left that 'ehawe o'edient?
During the neggst water'ording session a small misha' occured! The X eggsperienced an irrepara'le 'rain damage and wasn't awaila'le for further questionings. No 'ro'lem as it could 'e re'laced 'y the Y in future teggsts instead of those un'ractica'le „ggs“:
This is a teyt.
See what I mean? It worggs perfectly fine! -Additionally I had managed to argue Z into acting as a mole and to s'y on its detained fellow letters. This 'ayed off immediately as I got informed that Y was 'ehawing la'y too. Its strong point although turned out to 'e that it had eycellent connections to the upper authorities E-T in the letter administration!
I had to 'roceed weree carefullee and decided to inwite it under the 'reteggst of inwestigatiwe custodee. A 'reteggst that could eggstend ower some weeggs if not ee-ears. Sorree to sa-ee that uncooperatiwe E got through to me in no time and demanded the immediate release of the „EE“! Ewen my attem'ts to 'ersuade E '-ee using its dou'le-image instead of the incarnated wouldn't worgg. So I decided that it wouldn't hawe 'een fortunate for m-ee further career as a mastertorturer if I didn't giwe in to E's demands.
I had to have the Y released.
But for the rest of the incarnated 'unch that should it 'e! I wouldn't acce't additional concessions as I had to com'lete my tasgg of reeducating those rogue letters for 'etter.
And my negst trium'h was showing u' already: The letter Z has agreed to occure more regularly in leading ewery second word woluntarily.
That's zwhat I zcall success! You zsee? After zall torture zworks...
Ha**yness,
FS3, your Telly Vision program.
The culprit responsible for the sinking of the TITANIC is incarnated in Guantanamo! We can be sure as we do have his valid confession...
"Power is not a means; it is an end.
One does not establish a dictatorship
in order to safeguard a revolution;
one makes the revolution in order
to establish the dictatorship.
The object of persecution is persecution.
The object of torture is torture.
The object of power is power."
(George Orwell, 1984)
