From CGI's Morgan/ CGI is RMN's readers forum where Morgan is a member.
Dog Poet Transmitting.......
My apologies dear reader, for not being around. I have no legitimate excuse except to say that I have been thinking and thinking and thinking; reading the daily litany of lies and thinking I should say something about that fecal smear, or this fecal smear but then thinking I should just keep quiet because I am not a forensic fecalist. I have no papers to that effect, have written no scholarly papers and I don't want to feel like I am repeating myself, or worse, mailing it in and that leaves me thinking about it... all of it.
I find myself in an area of the planet where I used to be a few decades ago and which I left because Reagan became president and the world changed. At least... the world I knew had changed. Maybe it had always been the way it was but I just hadn't noticed and it took the meme of Greed that was the 80's to bring it to my attention. I've tried to be creative over the years but you hit these places where you just have to think about it all because suddenly you are surrounded by meaninglessness and the redundancy of people going through the motions and repeating patterns over and over in some kind of Sisyphean embarrassment. I feel like I should be throwing out life preservers to all the Chinese acrobats in my alphabet soup. I'm sure we all reach a place now and again when we ask ourselves; “what the Hell am I talking about?”
The world I see is a madhouse. Does that mean I am mad because it is what I see? I could see it many ways. It could look sane to me. Would that mean I was sane but... if the world really is a madhouse I would prefer not to be one of the inmates. This is one of the core things I have to think about. Agendas are lumbering on a rampage like drunken elephants through a shopping mall. Some of them are dressed up like those painted boys who were kept in the mansions of some dissolute marquis or manufactured royalty in pre-revolutionary France. Some of them had them in dozens. Today they got them in the hundreds and thousands in Hollywood. Would that be pre-revolutionary Hollywood? Another lumbering elephant is the race wars and then there are the culture wars, the language wars, the immigrant wars, the economic wars. The worst of the wars is the war of lies against the truth and worse than that is the size of the army that serves the military industrial complex of lies. Maybe it isn't such a big deal if you are part of it and it seems real to you but it doesn't seem real to me and therein is the conundrum. It's okay, I guess, if you are skating on non existent ice, as long as you believe the ice is there. If you know there is no ice, then putting on a pair of skates seems ridiculous but... not to the people who believe the ice is there. Do I submit to the general fantasy and agree that there is ice, even when I know that there is not? Do I buy into global warming when it seems to be getting colder? I'm not a scientist in the first place. I am a scientist actually but not that kind of scientist.
There is this particular arrogance where one 'might be' an expert at something and so one assumes one is therefore an expert on everything else and that is just not the case. This leads to drugstore cowboys from Texas being installed as presidents and chipmunk ballerinas that can't dance being promoted as pop stars who can't sing or write their way out of a plastic bag.
There used to be a time when news was news but maybe it has always been just fabricated perspectives on events that happened but didn't happen the way they said they did. They were just more dramatic and somber and serious about it all instead of ludicrous like they are now. It was always bullshit but it looked more authentic. We had Edward R. Murrow instead of Anderson Stupor.
I'm not sure what to do about anything. I'm not sure what to do about myself. I suppose I just go on. I'm trying to say something and taking a most circuitous route. It's like every day now I come up against the same thing and it doesn't matter what direction I am going in or what happens to be on my mind at the time, even if my mind is empty, which it often is, the same thing emerges at some point and that is the ineffable. I can't get around it. How's that song go? “ So high you can't get over it. So low, you can't get under it. So wide you can't get around it.”
More and more it is as if there is no point to anything else. All these projects that I have on the burners are sitting there but the burners aren't on and I don't feel like turning them on. I just feel like sitting here and thinking. So that is what I have been doing. It's the only explanation I have.
The ineffable looms as a circling panorama, surround sound inevitability. It's incomprehensible and indefinable but it's there none the less and I understand now why many among the wise have nothing to say. What can you say? Then again, maybe it's your job to say something. Even if it's inaccurate and forever incomplete, it's what you do. You might be a blind man in a room you can only interpret through touch. It' doesn't matter if the lights are on or off, you only know what you feel. It's those 3 blind men who are all touching a different part of an elephant and insisting that they comprehend the form of it. I don't want to be one of those blind men.
We are all walking in the kingdom of the blind. Most of us are blind and some of us are not, or perhaps we are all blind but in some cases not entirely blind. Some of us are deaf. I've noticed this. I'm sure you have too. Some people, you can tell them something over and over and they can't hear you. Then there are the variants of internal and external blindness and internal and external deafness. It's one thing to not be able to hear features of the world around you and another thing entirely to not be able to hear the voice within and yet another thing to be unable to distinguish between the 'voices' within. There should be only one voice and that voice should be the voice that remains when all the others are stilled.
People argue about the existence of the devil. Some say the devil is a myth. People say all kinds of things. For anything to exist it first has to exist in the mind. If it exists in the mind it eventually will manifest outwardly in some fashion. Then it gets identified on a wider scale and the wider the scale the wider the collective misidentification of it, until the general awareness of it is as something other than what it is. That's how it is with The Devil. Yes, there is no devil. The devil is just the way that the fearful and the wicked see God. All those devils are also angels. Wasn't that the case in the first place and then some of them fell, or were cast out, or...? I am of the opinion that something can exist and not exist at the same time and that certain principles that affirm and deny something can both be true simultaneously. It is possible that what we call reality is only a collective impression of a shared delusion and that none of it is what we believe it to be. This is clearly seen in all those religious fantasies that surround us.
More and more I believe that I need to die but not in the physical sense. That's not in my hands ...simply die to everything around me because there is this adhesive glue that binds together a fiction I have no desire to be a part of any longer. If it isn't about business having to do with the ineffable it's no business of mine. Everything is a kind of distraction and we manufacture these without cease. It's as if distractions are the composition of our existence and that leads to our becoming composted into life after life in pursuit of distractions. This is lunacy but it is ubiquitous so it doesn't appear to be lunacy. I understand why people don't want to see this. It immediately makes you an outsider and you can never fit in again. That's both a very bad thing and a very good thing at the same time because it is defined by the way you look at it. It is what it is and it is what it is not in the same moment and we make it either one or the other or something else that is neither. This may seem to be unnecessarily complex, confusing and even obtuse but it is all I have for you today and probably why I haven't written anything in awhile because I didn't want to write something like this and I have been waiting for it to pass cause it might only be some kind of metaphysical flu.
I'm in a good place ...but it's mostly internalized. There's a chance that I am changing, or transforming in some fundamental way and I either have to wait it out or go through it or whatever the demands of the process might be. Just as the world is changing, due to the new forces being expressed in the new relationships between the planets that influence us, we are ALL being affected and changed in some way. We cannot remain the same until we are entirely ourselves and all of the changes in our existence are directed at that and there is only acquiescence or resistance. Those are our choices. I prefer to acquiesce. This is what I have been doing. I should be around more often now and hopefully the work presented here will be more like it once was only different; new and improved even.