The following Thrill was written 'way back in December 1998 when I was omnipresent in Israel and happened to catch the Head D-g in the act of setting up the "billion-dollar aid package". Here's how it was done. Keep in mind that there is no such thing as "old news" since the "chosen ones" haven't had a new idea since the days of the Old Testament. Israel is perpetually stillborn and repeat their stillbirth ad nauseam.--Jana

The Thrill Report #121398
Clinton Mind Controlled by Head D-g of Israel

(Note: The volume of traffic between Washington DC and Israel has reached a level where it would be a cost savings to The American Taxpayers to set up a regular shuttle service. This would make it a lot easier, cheaper and efficient for Israel to govern the United Snakes and at least it would be out in the open.)

Clinton went to Israel madder than a hornet. "What happened?" he shouted to the Head D-g of Israel. "You guys told me it was 'in-the-bag'. You said my troubles would go away. So WHAT'S GOING ON???"

The Head D-g of Israel growled something indistinguishable to the raging Clinton.

Clinton, red-faced and so enraged that he did not heed the growl, "I thought you said you had The United States in your pocket! Well, it sure doesn't look that way. I'm hanging out to dry. That's what your pocket looks like!"

"Better get used to it," growled the Head D-g.

Heedless, Clinton raged on, "I don't like flapping around in the wind! I don't like it one bit. You guys don't play fair."

"Did you really expect us to?" the Head D-g growled sarcastically. "You're becoming more of a liability than anything else."

"But I did everything I was told," Clinton said, toning himself down a bit. He had noticed that the conversation wasn't going too well. "I followed orders. It was you that sicced that Monica female on me."

"We know how much you liked it," the Head D-g answered with a sly, salacious growl and (wink wink wink).

Clinton, ignoring the winks, "But if I knew what it was going to cost me I would never had let her near me."

"Oh yes you would," the Head D-g growled firmly.

"Oh no I wouldn't!" Clinton declared just as firm.

"Oh yes you would!" the Head D-g retorted with a ferocious growl.

"Oh no I wouldn't!"

"Billy Boy, here's three coins. Why don't you throw the I Ching?" the Head D-g growled slowly, low and hypnotically.

Clinton reached for the coins and immediately went into a trance. He threw the coins for the first line and waited.

"You are open and ready to receive your instructions," the Head D-g stated in a deep and throaty growl.

Clinton threw the coins for the second line.

"You will do exactly what you are told. You will obey all orders. Do you understand?"

Clinton nods his head affirmatively. He throws the coins for the third line.

The Head D-g growls menacingly, "You will announce a big gift of money to Israel. Whatever amount you announce, you will triple it in secret. You will deliver to Israel three times the amount you announce. Is that clear? Do you understand?"

Clinton nods again and throws the coins for the fourth line.

"You will do exactly what we tell you, no matter what it is. Do you understand?"

Clinton nods and throws the coins for the fifth line.

"You will remember nothing. When you throw the coins for the sixth line you will leave the coins where they fall. You will wake up and remember nothing, do you understand?"

Clinton nods and throws the coins for the sixth line.

"Oh yes you would," the Head D-g growls, continuing as if there had been no interruption.

"Oh yes I would," Clinton states, dazed but emphatically, without looking at the coins in front of him. "Yes, I sure would. That Monica, wow! Yum yum. You guys sure know how to pick 'em." (wink wink wink)

"Atta boy," the Head D-g growls in agreement. "Now run along. Hillary is waiting for you."

Clinton, dragging his feet, obviously reluctant to join Hillary, hoping to buy some time asks, "What do I do next?"

"Not now," the Head D-g growls firmly, dismissively, shooing him out the door, "but don't worry, we'll let you know."

Jana Janus
The Rogue Butterfly
Scribe in the Ancient Language of Thrill