The Thrill Report #022701
EASY STEPS

You too can master the secrets of life, as long as the secrets are life are in you. If you want to know if they are, just follow these easy steps:

1. Drop Dead (figuratively, of course). Just die! Tell yourself you are dead. Walk around as a dead person. Do this for a few days. Results are guaranteed. If you are guilty as sin (aka spawn of “the father”), you will not be able to complete this step because the Innocent Ones who have been “koshered” for your sins will getcha getcha getcha good. Beware.

If you’re still with me...

2. Read Genesis One (slowly, slowly, ever so slowly). Pause at every line. Creatively think about what you have read. Allow yourself to wonder about it. Imagine what it was like to live there, in that place, in that time. Intuit yourself into the rich genetic substance you’ve inherited from your ancient ancestors, which is still flowing throughout your body, encoded to the brim with knowledge of your Alpha.

3. Remember Yourself (and your EGGNESS)! Once upon a time YOU were there, dining on herbs and fruit, living in total and complete PEACE as it was ON EARTH. If you need help remembering just chant “Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother-to-Mother...” ad infinitum. It will come to you, if you are of The Mother, that is.

4. Read Genesis 2:4 to 3:24. If you have successfully accomplished the first three steps you will easily recognize the identity of the REAL criminal (old hoodoo voodoo, chooser of the chosen ones, master of the dead-brain rituals, mr. kosher, himself). Once you recognize him (and can see him in all his manifestations), you hold in your possession the key to the secrets of life. Go forth and unlock yourself and live your life in complete opposition to the world according to that impostor, who calls himself “LORD God” (aka the snake, the serpent, satan, the devil, the evil one, and G-d with a minus sign).

Happy opposing. Stop preying. Clean the flesh-eating from your body and spirit. Eliminate the middleman. Eat the soybeans, not the soybean eaters. Remember, Cows are MAD (with damn good reason) and there are NO PREDATORS IN PARADISE.

Jana Janus

Omnimother on The Mean Planet
(Busybusybusy gathering My Children.)