The Thrill Report #102698 THE UNTOUCHABLE

This morning a CNN (Comedy Not News) report stated that President Clinton was “considering” a BILLION DOLLAR AID PACKAGE for Israel to assist them in implementing the agreements reached in the peace accords!!!!

“WHAT???” I shouted in utter disbelief. “A BILLION DOLLARS OF MY TAX DIGITS TO AID...(sputter, sputter, gasp) AID...(hyperventilate) ISRAEL???”

After nearly collapsing from shock I ran to my computer and here I sit, wondering if I am the only person on Earth with a functioning brain. As Pink Floyd sings, “Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody out there?”

Perhaps my shock is doubled, tripled, quadrupled because I recently broke into the secrets of THE NATIONAL DEBT and found out who is collecting the interest. You’ll never guess who (unless you have a functioning brain). Our poor, impoverished, beggars of billion dollar aid packages...none other than...ISRAEL!

Poor things, they are so needy. They had to hock The United States of America right out from under us. They were forced to sell the food right out of our children’s mouths, break the backs of our men, destroy the bonds of our families, drive stakes through the hearts of our mothers, and sow the seeds of debt, suspicion, disease, and ignorance just so they can feed the greedy gorillas they carry around strapped to their backs.

Tell me please, oh learned ones, if a president is duly elected and halfway through his term it is discovered that he is a secret agent for a foreign power, does he still get to be treated “with all due respect” as if he were an authentic President? Is an elected president with an allegiance to a foreign power a REAL PRESIDENT and does this type of president have permission to give our country away?

On Saturday I watched “The Untouchables”. Of course I realize it is a Wormwood... er... I mean a Hollywood production (therefore suspect) but I thought “That’s the kind of people we need to investigate the entire Government of the United States of America. Untouchables. Uncorruptables. Dedicated, authentic, genuine, honest, clear-headed, courageous, Christian-hearted, (but not necessarily members of Christian Churches), intelligent, compassionate, caring people to go into the viper’s nest and clean it out.

“Hey, that sounds like a description of me!” I remarked after reading my own words. “Looks like I have just become The Untouchable! Anyone else want to join me?” Applications gladly accepted but weak-minded, weak-willed, debt-riddled, perverted individuals, with a high index of "blackmailability" (eg. Janet Reno) need not apply. Thank you anyway. On the other hand, anyone who has been ugsome and has managed to climb out of the uglesome place is a hero and is welcome to join. Your expertise is a valuable asset since, having been there and won your freedom, you know what to look for.

One last thing regarding the secrets of The National Debt. After Israel finished draining our coffers they generously came to our rescue with high-interest loans and no one ever mentioned the fact that it was our own money that they loaned back to us. Doesn’t this remind you of Joseph’s sojourn in Egypt? You know, Joseph, that chip off the old block of Jacob, aka Israel? (Genesis 37-50. Pay particular attention to Genesis 47: 11-27.)

Jana Janus The Rogue Butterfly Scribe in the Ancient Language of Thrill