When Gunther was in prison, I was still wearing underwire bras. I don't wear them anymore for two reasons. The first is I have read articles relating underwire bras to breast cancer, and second, I could care less what I look like these days!!
Back in the days I was wearing underwire bras, I quickly learned NOT to wear them when I visited Gunther in prison!
I learned this at the Fresno County Jail where he was awaiting trial for "misuse of a government jet". The one he used when he flew me to Reno to marry me. He was ordered NOT to fly commercial because his car had just been firebombed by the drug lords he had just entrapped.
This was a few months after we had just been at Offutt Air Force Base having dinner with his boss, a 4-star admiral, and lunch with the Director of the CIA. Gunther was RE-arrested and thrown in jail again, while we were on Castle Air Force Base for a debriefing from his flight to Moscow, and a promotion to Admiral which would eventually result in his retirement so he and I could slink off in the night and live happily ever after.
That did not happen. What did happen is the FBI arrested him again and charged him with misuse of the LearJet we flew to Reno to get married.
The first time I visited him in the county jail was in August. I was dressed in a light weight sleeveless blouse and a skirt. Fresno is hot in the summer, and for most of the time that I stood in line I was outside in the heat. I thought I was going to pass out. By the time I got inside, I was hot and tired, and my feet hurt because they were swollen.
The man had me walk through the metal detector. It went off. I took off my watch and my ring and walked through again. It will went off. I took off my shoes because in those days shoes still had metal shanks. The machine went off again.
The man said. "Do you wear an underwire bra?"
I said yes.
He said , "You're going to have to remove it."
I said, "Where?"
He answered, "I don't care. Go back to your car."
I said, "Does this mean I have to stand in line again?"
He anwered, "Yep!!"
I looked at the long line behind me and knew that visiting hours would be over by the time I got back in. I quickly pulled my arms inside my blouse. Pulled the bra off and slipped it out from under my blouse. I put my hands back through the sleeves in by blouse and handed the man my bra!!!
I walked through the metal detector. It didn't go off. The man handed me my bra. I gathered it up with my watch, my ring, my shoes and walked up to the area where I could see Gunther, dangling my bra like a prize fish!
Gunther was quite happy to see me without a bra on. In fact ALL the prisoners and guards were VERY happy to see me without a bra on!! I am sure he wished that we could have touched instead of having to talk to each other on phones through bullet proof glass.
When you are a prisoner's wife. You have no rights in the eyes of the guards and jailers. You are as guilty as your husband. Your husband is the scum of earth, therefore YOU and all your family are too!!
I have another similar story.
After Gunther served his 18 month sentence for misuse of a government jet, Gunther was transferred back to Missouri and put through a kangaroo court that found him guilty of violating his probation by impersonating a NAVAL officer... PLEASE REMEMBER... HE WAS a Naval officer!! But no one would come forward and verify it.
I lived in California. He was in jail in Missouri. The first time I went to visit him after he was convicted I had taken a flight. I knew that I had to get in line by 8am or I wouldn't be processed in time to spend very long with him.
I had flown in from California. I landed in St Louis, rented a car and drove to Jefferson City. That was the FIRST time I had ever been in Jefferson City. I arrived late. Couldn't find the cheap place where prisoners' wives stay, so I had to spend the little money that I had on a hotel. I was up early and drove to the prison. I was there at 8am but the line was all the way around the block. I was dressed in a heavy Levi skirt that went all the way to the floor. Gunther told me to dress conservatively because they had VERY strict dress regulations.
After standing in line for 2 hours I made it to the Matrons who were checking the wives and children to see if they were dressed properly.
I saw that the matrons were making each woman raise her skirt to show them her slip. I wasn't wearing a slip. Who wears a slip under a heavy levi skirt? I walked up. I was asked to show my slip. I said I didn't own a slip. I was told that I had better go buy one or I wasn't going to get in. I was so angry and so filled with a myriad of other emotions. There was nothing I could say. I knew that if I caused any kind of trouble, I would probably be charged with something and thrown in jail too.
I asked where the closest place was where I could buy a slip. I was told Walmart. But I was NOT given directions I was told to get out of line and let someone else in. NONE of the things were said to me in kindness. I was treated subhuman. Worse than an animal!
The women behind me in line could tell how I was feeling. I am sure they had all been through it before.
I knew Gunther was expecting me. I knew he would be worried that something had happened to me.... like his enemies killing me!!
One of the prisoner's wives drew me a map. I drove to Walmart, bought the slip. I got back about 11 am and had to stand in line again. I finally made it to the front of the line around noon.... 4 hours after I told Gunther I would be there. He had been scared to death that I was dead. He had called everyone he knew, and no one had heard anything from me since late last night when I checked in.
This time I was let through and Gunther and I were allowed to visit. Prisoners are allowed one kiss on meeting and one kiss on leaving. We had to sit across the table from each other. We could hold hands, but NO other body parts could touch.
Every word we said was recorded by the guard who stood near us. There was nothing that we said while he was in prison that was NOT recorded by the people who wanted to make sure that he remained in prison.
Such is the life of a prisoner's wife.
I have more horror stories like this one... But I don't feel like telling them at the moment... remembering these has exhausted me.
: ***
: This gifted writer tells her true story through the expression
: of colorful humor and clever wit. It is hard to believe the
: bizarre world in which we live has all emerged since 9-11,
: as though something out of a bad dream. Ludicrous does not
: even begin to describe this. LH
: ***
: If my bra is a threat to national security, we're in big
: trouble
: Paula Simons, The Edmonton Journal
: **
: "Bleeep!"
: The airport metal detector makes that ear-zapping,
: high-pitched squeal.
: I don't usually set off airport metal detectors. Most women
: don't. It's men who tend to make those door frames squeak.
: Men, with their metal belt buckles, their heavy watch
: straps, their pockets full of keys and loose change. I
: can't remember the last time I set off an airport scanner
: -- at least not in Canada.
: But then again, I'm not in a Canadian airport. I'm on my way
: home from an American vacation, my first in more than a
: decade -- my first since 9/11.
: In Canada, when you set off the scanner, a guard usually has
: you empty your pockets while waving the metal-detecting
: wand around you. Not in my case. Instead, the officer pulls
: out his radio.
: "I need a female officer for a special search."
: This doesn't sound good. I take off my watch and hand it over,
: attempting to head things off at the pass.
: YOU MAY READ THE REST OF THE STORY HERE:
: http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/cityplus/story.html?id=2ad8cd42-c2ab-4c75-b10e-63d179bd4e85&k=60485
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