RUMOR MILL NEWS RECENTLY CELEBRATED ITS ELEVENTH YEAR OF OPERATIONS
All along the way, we've been called a lot of really nice names:
anti-government wingnuts, hysterical New Age idiots, kooks and outright CIA suck-ups
and more than that, mostly things too filthy or too badly spelled to reprint !!
We've been told that government ( federal ) employees spend too much time surfing our site, some looking for jokes and others looking for facts or explanations about why WHAT they do get done never seems to make a difference, or get positive results ....
We've been told that there was an entire squad of "the guys in the tight and shiny shoes" assigned to follow the investigations of the late Sherman Skolnick ( our beloved investigative Agent ), not because they were supposed to follow up on his reporting on criminal corruption in the courts of Chicago, but rather to try and figure out who was giving him some of the 'premium information' and story leads he was getting.
BULLETIN TO THE FAMOUS BUT INCOMPETENT:
Sherman Skolnick was getting much of that insider information
from the late Colonel Russell Herrman, OSS/CIA and Coast Guard !!
We've been told that the National Security Agency went after the Hong Kong Hackers when they attacked our site and shut us down ( almost forever ), a few years ago, not because they were angry about that but because they wanted to steal their software.
Or, maybe to steal their own software back from them.
And most recently, we were told that "the Bush Legion" isn't really concerned about news and opinion sites like our Rumor Mill News because in their estimation, the only readers we get are shut-ins and disaffected trailer-park trash, who have more teeth than IQ points and who don't never bother to vote no how.
Gee, now that one really hurts. The source told us that this "Legion of the Evil Braindead" who work for Little Boy Bush have assigned only "low-level operatives" to monitor this news agency as a result of the aforementioned estimates: one smarty-pants type is alleged to have said, "hell, we don't even use the rated ones for that *^$)^#@* site ... they're just our temps !"
Now they have done it, now they have gone and got all nasty on us. I mean, like, whatever !! As if !!
So, the following is an edited version of one of my highly inflamatory and well-regarded "premium level" rants, as given to our Agents only, in RMN's "The Godzilla Stomps Tokyo, Again, Lounge" --
Frankly I am extremely upset to learn that we have "low level gov't ops assigned" to this news agency.
What ? The Big Thinkers are too busy dreaming up the next foreign policy disaster ( or shall I say, 'surge' ), to bother with us, or maybe too busy dining with their Satanic familiars at the U.N. ( oh, oh, Kofi, you're such a Devil ), or too busy shopping for their own personal version of the late Miss Chandra Levy ( hey baby, come over to see me at midnight and leave your cell phone and your keys and your passport at home ), to give US here, their full attention ?????
What ? We are just chopped liver here on the worldwide web ?
Do we get full-time federal pay stub employees reading our site and trying to hornswoggle us with "NESARA updates" or do we get part-time contract employees -- i.e., temporary worker status --as our surveillance and disinformation "ops" ? I think we are getting the latter class ... frankly. In the last year the level of abuse we've taken from anonymous e-mail senders has declined somewhat ... unlike the steady stream of "Nigerian Letter e-mails," which remain one of the longest running scams in modern history.
I am very unhappy about this turn of events. Temp workers assigned to read our every posting and send us 'anonymous hate mail ?? Oy. We cain't get no respect.
I am thinking of writing to my Useless Senator -- Mr. Faithful Joe Lieberman -- to demand that a budget item ( non-pork of course ), be inserted into the "budget" as a "legislatively directed thingamabob" or EAR mark. Yes, friends and here's why --
SO THAT THESE ALPHABET-SOUP BOYS AND GIRLS CAN AFFORD TO PUT AT LEAST ONE ASSISTANT ASSOCIATE UNDERSECRETARY
OF NOT SAYING ANYTHING ( NSA ) OR THE FAMOUS BUT INCOMPETENT ( FBI ), ON OUR CASE & FILE !!!!!
Damn it -- we deserve a much higher level of incompetence from our federales in gov't, don't you all agree ?? And how can you have really, really good incompetence if you don't have at least a deputy associate inspector general or an undersecretary of something really secret, on your case ?
Day Labor ??!?? It's insulting to think that mere temporary workers who cain't read any words larger than two syllables ( or three, with a hyphen ), are put in charge of being in charge of drinking coffee and eating scones while sneaking a peek at everything on our OH SO FAB U LOSO alternative news and opinion web site ! Hey guys, gals, here's a tip: 'it's free'. No charge. Try that on for size and then tell us who needs the aluminum foil hats with the little spinners on top, and who doesn't !!??!!
Then again, I am reminded that the Ex-Mr. Big-Stuff, the lately unlamented "K-Street Uber Operative" and raconteur, Jack Abramoff ... isn't the least bit busy right now, so maybe he could get some 'work release' time on his prison logs ?
And he could take the Temp Workers to lunch, too, 'cause he knows all the leading head waiters in D.C. ( at least the ones who aren't down the hall from him in the federal lock-up ).
Now them's some fringe benefits, dear Readers. With Fedora Jack Abramoff on the case & file they won't even have to pay him those criminal wages !
And furthermore -- he's not going to be needing a fake Social Security number or a forged Green Card !!!
He's already "in the system" if you know what I mean !!??
Sometimes I scare myself with my own brilliance.
I'm still insultivated however.
"I gotcher low levels, right here ... right over here, Mr. Not Saying Anything ...."
