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 ==============RUMOR MILL NEWS AGENCY==============
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Breaking News!!!!!
St. Patrick's Day, March 17th, 1998

On the Hannity and Colmes, Fox News Program:
                   Dick Morris Calls Bill Clinton a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Mr. Morris said that the accusations Ms. Willey made against President
Clinton, a man Mr. Morris has known for twenty years, are entirely out of
character. Mr. Morris went on to say that if these charges are true,  "then
Mr. Clinton must have a part of his personality that no one knows about."

Was Dick Morris saying that Mr. Clinton has two personalities?

Several days ago I wrote a note to a friend in which I surmised that soon 
we were going to hear  from a well known psychiatrist who has diagnosed 
the President as suffering from multiple personalities. 

My friend informed me that such a book has already been written. It is
called:

                                             "The Dysfunctional President."

If I were part of the President's inner circle and was trying to figure out
how to get the president out of the Monica-mess, and still be able to use
his enormous talents later on, I would seriously be considering the
"insanity" plea.  

I would secretly advise television and radio interviewers about this book
and suggest that they quickly interview the author.

If Clinton suddenly is labeled "mentally ill", he can be removed through
the 25th amendment which allows the removal of a president who is too
sick to carry out his duties. This will enable him to enter some kind of
treatment facility, and in a number of months or years, he will be labeled
"well" and then returned to normal life.

If he chooses to be removed by this route, he will save himself from being 
prosecuted for perjury, obstruction of justice and  all the other Whitewater
crimes.

If this is the route the Clinton "inner circle" chooses to walk, we will see
the following things   begin to happen:

Dick Morris will continue to talk  about Clinton's  Dr. Jekyll and Mr.
Hyde personalities.

The author of "The Dysfunctional President" will become a household
word and will soon have his own radio talk show that quickly eclipses  Dr.
Laura.

Other people will begin to analyze the President from a psychological
and/or conspiracy  perspective.

      Psychological Examples:
 "He appears to have a repressed inner child, most probably caused by a
battering step father who routinely beat his mother in front of him."
     
"He exhibits the signs of a fractured personality which was caused by
massive psychological and emotional childhood trauma. This kind of
trauma is usually caused by being sexually molested or tortured as a child.
Many times the victims of such child hood abuse, turn into the same kind
of abusive sexual predators as were their abusers."

     An example from the alternative or "conspiracy" press:
"President Clinton was one of the early victims of Project Monarch, a CIA
mind control project designed to produce "Manchurians Candidates", i.e.
programmed assassins.  In 1963, shortly before the assassination of
President Kennedy, a young Bill Clinton was photographed with the
President.  The massive guilt, caused by  knowing  he was a victim of
Project Monarch, and not knowing for sure if he was part of the Kennedy
assassination, caused him to fracture his personality and 
compartmentalize his perceived "evil twin"."

     An example of UFO conspiracy theory:
"President Clinton is the mind controlled robot of evil aliens who are
trying to take over the planet. His "handler" is the reptilian James Carville,
a Draconian reptile being who has undergone plastic surgery to make him
look more human. The evil aliens are using the President to enslave and
depopulate the planet. If the reptilians have their way, 9/10's of humanity
will die from various plagues, and the rest will be enslaved."

Once these types of comments and articles  begin to infiltrate the
American psyche, the next step in the plan will be  to declare Clinton
"mentally ill" and remove him from office. This will enable his handlers 
to rehabilitate him and bring him back at a later date. This plan  includes
the public display of "the evil twin"... the Mr. Hyde personality. President
Clinton will begin to consciously expose his other personality at well
chosen seemingly "inappropriate" times.

     Example:
"At a White House press briefing President Clinton says hello to his
favorite White House reporter, 84 year old Sara McClendon. He  walks
into the press pit to give her a hug. Before he gets to her he spies a
beautiful young reporter and the "evil twin" emerges. The "evil twin"
captures the young woman in an overpowering bear hug. He  feels her
breasts, puts her hand on his erect penis,  and tries to push her head down
to his crotch.

Mike Mc Curry quickly explains that the young woman was suffering a
hyperventilation attack from being so close to the President. The only
thing the President was doing when he touched her chest, was making sure
she was breathing. McCurry goes on to explain that while it may have
looked like he was pushing her head into his crotch, in actuality he was
only lowering her head to insure that blood would flow to her brain and
she would revive. 

When the woman reporter accuses the President of sexually assaulting
her, the White House digs into her background looking for dirt they can
use to silence her. Instead, they discover that she was once a man. Fearing
that the President would then be accused of being attracted to
transvestites, homosexuals or cross dressers, they quickly buy the woman
off by appointing her Secretary of State."

After several more of these "out of character" episodes, Hillary Clinton
becomes a fixture at the side of her husband. Each time he appears to be
switching personalities and becoming the "evil twin", Hillary rushes to his
side and whispers things in his ear. The "evil twin" quickly exits and the
real Bill returns. 

Finally, enough episodes of his "mental illness" are on record, that the
Congress, both Republican and Democrat can no longer ignore the
damage he is doing to the office of the Presidency. Right in front of the
entire world, the president of the United States is having a mental
breakdown.  The Democrats blame the Republicans. The Republicans
blame the drugs he has used all he adult life. Finally someone takes charge
and suggests the 25th Amendment.

Hillary stands by her mentally ill husband and accompanies him to his
hospital. She announces to the world that she knew all along that her
husband, the "good Bill", would never have behaved so horribly against
women. 

She cites comments made by psychiatrists,  calls him a "victim"  and says
that his prognosis for a full recovery is very high. Bill then enters  a
"mental hospital" for treatment. Hillary becomes a heroine in the eyes of
the American women, because she "stood by her man" and didn't abandon
him in his time of need.

While Bill is in the hospital getting well. Hillary uses her newly found
popularity and runs for Diane Feinstein's Senate seat in California. (Added
comment 12-18-98, Hillary cannot run for Feinstein's seat because Diane
refused to step down for her. Instead, the White House steamroller has
forced Daniel Patrick Moynihan to step down. Hillary will run to Senator
from New York) Once she gets into office, she decides to quietly divorce
Bill.   

Several more years go by. Bill is released from the hospital and given a
clean bill of health. He immediately takes over a Hollywood film studio
and begins to finance films which will rehabilitate his image and make
him into a sympathetic figure who was just trying to do good for America.
He also uses his position as the head of a powerful studio to "audition"
young actresses. His casting couch becomes so famous that Lazyboy
names one of their hideabeds:  The Clinton Casting Couch.

After being rehabilitated in the minds of America, President Clinton will
be free to pursue whatever path he wishes to walk, whether it be as
Secretary General of the United Nations, or as President of the New
World Order.

If President Clinton wishes to save himself for his future, he should 
seriously consider using the "evil twin" defense. He needs to  quickly
check himself into a mental hospital before his enemies discover
something for which he cannot use a mental illness defense, such as: 
Defrauding Madison Savings out of $50,000,000
Being complicit in drug smuggling out of Mena, Arkansas
Covering up the murder of two young boys whose bodies were found on
railroad tracks
Selling national secrets to the Chinese in exchange for campaign money.
And the list goes on ad infinitum........

Humorous Commentary from Rumor Mill News
The Uncensored National Rumor
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P.O. Box 1784 Aptos, CA 95001
Ru Mills, Editor e-mail: rumills@rumormillnews.com